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Band 4.5

Some believes that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#doctors #engineers #work #country
Some
people
affirms
Change the verb form
affirm
show examples
 that
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 in medicine and
engineers
Wrong verb form
engineering
show examples
 should stay
whitin
Correct your spelling
within
 their own country where they studied.
Others
 argue that they should service
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries
 for free if they want to. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professionals
 should
contribuite
Correct your spelling
contribute
 to their community but
also
 to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries
 if they wish to. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will argue about
this
 phenomenon. Nowadays, careers like medicine and
engineers
Wrong verb form
engineering
show examples
 have a big worldwide demand. In many
countries
, \ professionals have been emigrating to Europe or Australia looking for a better quality of life.
As a result
, a lack of
medicine
Replace the word
medical
show examples
 attention in
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
countries
.
Otherwise
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
incentive
Correct your spelling
incentivise
show examples
 their graduates in order
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
 them
a good projects
Correct the article-noun agreement
good projects
a good project
show examples
 with good salaries.
For instance
, a study from Buenos Aires University (UBA) affirms that 35% of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
scientist and doctors
leaves
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leave
show examples
 the country because they cannot find a job. These graduates studied in Public Universities for free.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, professionals could help to
improved
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improve
show examples
 the well-being of
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries
. As we may know, with the climate changes big cyclons and
catastrofe
Correct your spelling
catastrophe
 happens around the world.
For
this
 reason, it is important for doctors to
maintain
Verb problem
remain
show examples
 informed about these situations.
Consequently
,
people
 could help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries
 where can apply their knowledge.
For instance
,
Assosiations
Correct your spelling
Associations
 like CRUZ ROJA is a
pretigious
Correct your spelling
prestigious
 group, integrated for emergency professionals who
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 many suffering
people
 around the world in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wars,
diplomatics
Correct your spelling
diplomatic
show examples
 problems or natural
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
 In conclusion,despite the fact of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tremedous
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 advantages of graduates working
whitin
Correct your spelling
within
 the country, it is important to give them the opportunity to help and give their services to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 nations if
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
necessary.
Submitted by marcodimonaco89 on

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task achievement
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. For example, explaining why doctors and engineers might want to leave or stay could add depth to your response.
task achievement
Ensure examples directly relate to the argument you are making. The example from Buenos Aires University supports your point but could be integrated more smoothly into the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to logical flow and transition between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to maintain the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your conclusion to reinforce your arguments effectively. Summarizing main points can help coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces both perspectives well.
supported main points
The essay uses relevant examples to support arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • brain drain
  • expatriates
  • repay
  • enhanced
  • remittances
  • international cooperation
  • cultural diversity
  • global best practices
  • economic incentives
  • working conditions
  • political stability
  • human right
  • freedom of movement
  • investment in education
  • skill shortage
  • career growth
  • push and pull factors
  • migration
  • global health crises
What to do next:
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