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Band 5

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #levels #education #schools #university #time #facts #skills
Nowadays, there is a discussion about the lack of teaching practical
skills
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 all levels of education, and some people ask for more development of practical
skills
 and
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 teaching facts. In
this
 essay, we will discuss why is
necessary
Correct word choice
important
show examples
 the
teaching of
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 hands-on dexterity to improve the
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of the alumni and how
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
skills
 will be practical in the future.
Firstly
, learning practical abilities will
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
 the fine
motors
Change the noun form
motor
show examples
skills
 of the children,
thus
 ensuring a better development of their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
.
For example
, learning
carpintery
Correct your spelling
carpentry
carpenter
 or cooking will let the child
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
practice
te
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 fine
motors
Change the noun form
motor
show examples
skills
 of their hands.
As a result
 of
this
, the undergraduates will have a better
propioception
Correct your spelling
proprioception
 and will ensure that all their body
habilites
Correct your spelling
habits
 will be developed, helping in the process of growing up.
Secondly
, the practical
habilities
Correct your spelling
abilities
show examples
 that can be
teach
Change the form of the verb
taught
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary and secondary education will be vital in their future. A classical example of
that is
 cooking lessons and financial lessons. When the majority of graduates
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 out to the real world, they
lack
Wrong verb form
lacked
show examples
this
 kind of
knowledgement
Correct your spelling
acknowledgement
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
absoluty
Correct your spelling
absolutely
 necessary to have
an
Change the word
their
show examples
 own
idependent
Correct your spelling
independent
 life.
As a consequence
, a lot of alumni
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 start living on their own
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
 with
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 very basic life
skills
.
To conclude
, the teaching of practical
skills
 in the classrooms is almost non-existent.
Thus
, a lot of students left the educational system without any type of hands-on habilites, resulting in a poor development of their bodies and affecting their future
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. To resolve
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 problem, we need to start including practical-life subjects in our schools.
Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure with well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea that supports your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and ensure a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will help demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on the accuracy of vocabulary and grammar to avoid small errors that might detract from your essay's overall quality.
task achievement
To achieve better clarity, carefully proofread your essay to catch any minor mistakes or awkward phrasing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing the argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well and provides a complete response to the task, discussing why practical skills are necessary and how they can be beneficial in the future.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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