Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Somw people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree?
The sheer volume of money is spent on studying
space
annually. While
some underline that the money should be used for improved well-being standards rather than for studying space
, I totally disagree because it can bring significant benefits.
Studying in Space
can contribute to discovering new habitats. It is obvious that human beings’ excessive usage of fuels or construction of factories cause
climate severe changes, reducing the areas where Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
people
could habitat. According to
research, Dubai was expected to vanish within 20 years due to
the rise of sea levels. Consequently
, the areas that people
could live in will be reduced in the future. However
, financial support provides
scientists to observe new planets in Verb problem
allows
space
, they contribute to migrating to the found areas when the Earth cannot provide an appropriate environment to
us.
Change preposition
for
Furthermore
, Studying in Space
could provide traveling
opportunities. Scientists already have found Change the spelling
travelling
the
way to go to the Moon, and studies have Correct article usage
a
been
continued to construct travel systems for the public. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
, Space-X
announced that they would provide services that allow Correct your spelling
SpaceX
people
to travel around the
Mars in 2025. It is the result of considerable financial investment as it has spent over 3 Correct article usage
apply
millions
on Change to singular
million
study
. Add an article
the study
Therefore
, the enough budget for the study in Space
contributes to providing fresh memory
and Fix the agreement mistake
memories
experience
to Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
people
.
In conclusion, we should prioritize investing money in studying Space
rather than in constructing higher standards for our lives. The reasons are that it can be an alternative when the Earth cannot provide a proper environment and provide us new
experiences through trips.Change preposition
with new
Submitted by ekgus2309 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay introduces relevant arguments and examples, but the task response could be improved by further development of ideas. Try to elaborate more on how space research directly impacts or could impact our living standards. For instance, mention specific advancements in technology or health stemming from space research.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'habitat' should be 'inhabit,' and 'fresh memory' could be replaced with 'memorable experiences.' Additionally, 'the sheer volume of money is spent' should be 'a sheer volume of money is spent.' Try to proofread your essay or use grammar-check tools to minimize such errors.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed and clearly frame the essay. It's clear what your stance is and the reader is guided accordingly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples like the potential disappearance of Dubai and Space-X's travel plans, which make your arguments more compelling.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!