It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.
In today's world, modern technologies are becoming popular day after day. Some people argue that
this
will result in negative consequences, especially separation in close relationships. Linking Words
This
essay completely agrees with Linking Words
this
statement because addiction to smartphones, wifi, and the internet leads to social isolation and psychological issues Linking Words
such
as anxiety and depression.
On the one hand, with the development of new technologies, there are both negative and positive aspects; social isolation is one of them. Linking Words
In other words
, new inventions in mobile or computer applications Linking Words
such
as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other online games keep people busy. Eventually, individuals spend most of their time online, lacking connection with the world. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
according to
research, more than half of the population uses modern technology. Linking Words
This
is resulting in serious Linking Words
problem
among families.
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
On the other hand
, excessive use of modern devices makes people self-centred and lacking in emotion and connection with others. Linking Words
This
may lead them to mental health issues Linking Words
such
as anxiety and depression. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
according to
2024 research in HAMS hospital, many youths are diagnosed with serious psychological problems. Linking Words
This
is happening because of increased dependence on social media and smartphones. To eradicate or minimize Linking Words
this
issue, I believe the government and individuals should use modern devices in moderation. Linking Words
Thus
, excessive dependence and use of anything is not beneficial for anyone.
In conclusion, despite there are many positive aspects of modern technologies, dependence on them is not good for anyone; Linking Words
thus
, it should be used in moderation. If we do not work to minimize Linking Words
this
problem, Linking Words
this
may lead to social and psychological issues.Linking Words
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task achievement
In the introduction, consider restating the topic more clearly and explicitly stating your position on the matter. This will set a clearer context for your argument.
task achievement
While your points on social isolation and mental health are relevant, try to expand on your examples further or provide additional statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly differentiate your paragraphs with clear topic sentences. This helps the reader follow your ideas more easily and provides a logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structure, as this will enhance readability and keep the reader engaged.
content
You have clearly identified the main issues associated with excessive technology use, such as social isolation and mental health problems, which is relevant to the topic.
content
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your key points and reinforces your stance on the issue of technology use in modern society.
Your opinion
Donโt put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Donโt leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?