Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Somw people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree?

The sheer volume of money is spent on studying
space
annually.
While
some underline that the money should be used for improved well-being standards rather than for studying
space
, I totally disagree because it can bring significant benefits. Studying in
Space
can contribute to discovering new habitats. It is obvious that human beings’ excessive usage of fuels or construction of factories
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
climate severe changes, reducing the areas where
people
could habitat.
According to
research, Dubai was expected to vanish within 20 years
due to
the rise of sea levels.
Consequently
, the areas that
people
could live in will be reduced in the future.
However
, financial support
provides
Verb problem
allows
show examples
scientists to observe new planets in
space
, they contribute to migrating to the found areas when the Earth cannot provide an appropriate environment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
us.
Furthermore
, Studying in
Space
could provide
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
opportunities. Scientists already have found
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
way to go to the Moon, and studies have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
continued to construct travel systems for the public.
For example
,
Space-X
Correct your spelling
SpaceX
show examples
announced that they would provide services that allow
people
to travel around
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Mars in 2025. It is the result of considerable financial investment as it has spent over 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
on
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
Therefore
, the enough budget for the study in
Space
contributes to providing fresh
memory
Fix the agreement mistake
memories
show examples
and
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
to
people
. In conclusion, we should prioritize investing money in studying
Space
rather than in constructing higher standards for our lives. The reasons are that it can be an alternative when the Earth cannot provide a proper environment and provide us
new
Change preposition
with new
show examples
experiences through trips.
Submitted by ekgus2309 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay introduces relevant arguments and examples, but the task response could be improved by further development of ideas. Try to elaborate more on how space research directly impacts or could impact our living standards. For instance, mention specific advancements in technology or health stemming from space research.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'habitat' should be 'inhabit,' and 'fresh memory' could be replaced with 'memorable experiences.' Additionally, 'the sheer volume of money is spent' should be 'a sheer volume of money is spent.' Try to proofread your essay or use grammar-check tools to minimize such errors.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed and clearly frame the essay. It's clear what your stance is and the reader is guided accordingly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples like the potential disappearance of Dubai and Space-X's travel plans, which make your arguments more compelling.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!