IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Somw people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree?

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The sheer volume of money is spent on studying
space
Use synonyms
 annually.
While
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 some underline that the money should be used for improved well-being standards rather than for studying
space
Use synonyms
, I totally disagree because it can bring significant benefits. Studying in
Space
Use synonyms
 can contribute to discovering new habitats. It is obvious that human beings’ excessive usage of fuels or construction of factories
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 climate severe changes, reducing the areas where
people
Use synonyms
 could habitat.
According to
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 research, Dubai was expected to vanish within 20 years
due to
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 the rise of sea levels.
Consequently
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, the areas that
people
Use synonyms
 could live in will be reduced in the future.
However
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, financial support
provides
Verb problem
allows
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 scientists to observe new planets in
space
Use synonyms
, they contribute to migrating to the found areas when the Earth cannot provide an appropriate environment
to
Change preposition
for
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 us.
Furthermore
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, Studying in
Space
Use synonyms
 could provide
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 opportunities. Scientists already have found
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to go to the Moon, and studies have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
continued to construct travel systems for the public.
For example
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,
Use synonyms
Space-X
Correct your spelling
SpaceX
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 announced that they would provide services that allow
people
Use synonyms
 to travel around
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mars in 2025. It is the result of considerable financial investment as it has spent over 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 on
study
Add an article
the study
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the enough budget for the study in
Space
Use synonyms
 contributes to providing fresh
memory
Fix the agreement mistake
memories
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 and
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 to
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, we should prioritize investing money in studying
Space
Use synonyms
 rather than in constructing higher standards for our lives. The reasons are that it can be an alternative when the Earth cannot provide a proper environment and provide us
new
Change preposition
with new
show examples
 experiences through trips.

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task achievement
Your essay introduces relevant arguments and examples, but the task response could be improved by further development of ideas. Try to elaborate more on how space research directly impacts or could impact our living standards. For instance, mention specific advancements in technology or health stemming from space research.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'habitat' should be 'inhabit,' and 'fresh memory' could be replaced with 'memorable experiences.' Additionally, 'the sheer volume of money is spent' should be 'a sheer volume of money is spent.' Try to proofread your essay or use grammar-check tools to minimize such errors.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed and clearly frame the essay. It's clear what your stance is and the reader is guided accordingly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples like the potential disappearance of Dubai and Space-X's travel plans, which make your arguments more compelling.
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