IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps illustrate the developments which took place in the harbour between 2000 and today.
Overall
, a comparison of the two maps reveals a complete transformation over the years.
it is clear that
 public beaches were the same during these years On the west
side
 of the harbour, to the south of
this
, the main entrance of car parking converted from a
side
 road into the main road
instead
. During these years showers and toilets to the south were demolished. The most noticeable is that the large fishing boat was replaced by the Marine and a fishing boat was established on the north
side
. Looking to the east, construction for cafes and shops to the south
side
 of the lifeboat. The castle was demolished to make way for a hotel which led to the conversion of the privet beach to be for hotel residents only.
Further
 development was the construction of an additional dock to the north of the harbour with the same space.
Submitted by rraghad.b on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate further on certain points, making sure all main features and changes are covered comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer paragraph separation and slightly better logical linking between sentences for enhanced cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Add a brief conclusion to sum up the changes comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Avoid small grammatical errors, such as incorrect capitalization and punctuation, to strengthen your response.
task achievement
You provided a clear comparison of the harbour's transformation from 2000 to the present day.
task achievement
Your descriptions included spatial references, making it easier to visualize the changes.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harbour (or harbor)
  • docks
  • shipping lanes
  • warehouses
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • additions
  • removals
  • facilities
  • environmental sustainability
  • economic impact
  • local community
  • capacity
  • technological advancements
  • industrial shipping
  • recreational use
  • surrounding infrastructure
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