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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line chart below shows the number of cars produced in three countries from 2003 to 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart below shows the number of cars produced in three countries from 2003 to 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #cars #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graphs illustrate the
number
Use synonyms
 of
car
Use synonyms
 productions from three different countries including
Argentina
Use synonyms
,
Australia
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 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
, between 2003 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the total
number
Use synonyms
 of both vehicle productions of
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 steadily increased over the
6 years
Correct your spelling
6-year
 period.
While
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Argentina
Use synonyms
's produced
cars
Use synonyms
 showed
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 decline. In 2003, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 produced by
Thailand
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 was relatively low
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just below 200.
This
Linking Words
 figure increased consistently and tripled its
number
Use synonyms
 in 2005
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 before continue rising to reach approximately 1000 in 2009.
Australia
Use synonyms
's
cars
Use synonyms
 began with 300 in 2003, and
then
Linking Words
 slightly
incline
Wrong verb form
inclined
show examples
 to 400 in the next two years, before surging to the highest
number
Use synonyms
 among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 countries in the end, with 1999.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Argentina
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 began with the
greastest
Correct your spelling
greatest
Use synonyms
car's
Change noun form
car
show examples
production
Use synonyms
, it experienced
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
 decline, by the end of the period, its
production
Use synonyms
 was the lowest with 100. there was
notable
Add an article
the notable
a notable
show examples
 point at around 2004,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
car
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 in all countries had the same amount. In conclusion, both
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 showed significant growth in
Use synonyms
car's
Change noun form
car
show examples
production
Use synonyms
along 6
Replace the word
over the 6-year
show examples
year-period
Correct your spelling
period
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Argentina
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 began with relatively higher, it decreased considerably to the same
number
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 two others in 2004 and continued to the least in the end.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, car, argentina, australia, thailand, cars, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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