IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the chart and table below give information about population figure in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the chart and table below give information about population figure in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart and table below
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the value of
population
Use synonyms
 figures in
Japan
Use synonyms
 during the period between 1950 and 2055.  In general, It is proven that the
population
Use synonyms
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
was increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 from 1950 to 2005. The highest
population
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2005 but at some point, It will
have been decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 before
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 the second lowest point for the next 50 years.
Use synonyms
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 is going to decrease extremely from 2010 to 2055 with only 89,9 million
population
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the graph shows that the value had constantly increased from 1950 to 2005 with 84,1 and 127,8 million
population
Use synonyms
 respectively.  The data
also
Linking Words
 tells us that the over-65s
population
Use synonyms
 had increased from 1950 to 2005.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 will have been increasing until 2035.
On the other hand
Linking Words
at the end
Linking Words
 of the predicted period,
Japan
Use synonyms
 will only have 36.5 million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
old people.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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