IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#distances #people #work #study #basis #consider #development
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The human
Correct article usage
Human
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 population growth has been experienced by almost all countries since the beginning of
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
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 century.
As a result
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, residential areas are being developed
further
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 from the business district where most offices
located
Add a missing verb
are located
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.
This
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 inherently creates issues
such
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 as increased travel time and
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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.
On the other hand
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, some believe that living in a home
further
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 from
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 gives an opportunity to wind down after long hours of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
This
Linking Words
 essay explains both views of having to travel longer
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
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 to work and study as a routine. First of all, when more housing
are
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is
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 spreading outside the city centre, workers spend more time on the road which increases
the
Correct article usage
apply
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carbon pollution.
In addition
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 to that,
due to
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 the volume of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
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, it poses a higher risk of road accidents. These impacts are inevitable when people start moving away from the CBD.
In contrast
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, researchers have shown that the quality of life increases when residents live
further
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 away from the city centre as houses will be segregated from the noise pollution coming from busy
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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.
Furthermore
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,
this
Linking Words
 increases the development
on
Change preposition
of
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 unestablished
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 which possibly creates
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 business opportunities. Looking
the
Change preposition
at the
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 history of most developed countries, they started by exploring new
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 every year to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 housing demands until all became integrated. In conclusion, living away from
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 or school
pose
Correct subject-verb agreement
poses
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 its own advantages and drawbacks. The main benefit is improved quality of life and the disadvantage lies
on
Change preposition
in
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 the increased road time which inadvertently raises the pollution rate from gas
engine
Fix the agreement mistake
engines
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.
Submitted by petreub on

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Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses one main idea and provides supporting details and examples to back it up. For example, when discussing the benefits of living further from the city center, provide specific examples or research findings.
Grammar and Accuracy
Work on reducing grammatical mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement and plurals. For example, 'when more housing are spreading' should be 'when more housing is spreading' and 'area every year to accomodate' should be 'area every year to accommodate.'
Introduction and Conclusion
Expand on the introduction slightly to provide more context on why this issue is being discussed and its relevance in today's society. Additionally, revisit the conclusion to ensure it effectively summarizes the main points and provides closure.
Task Response
The essay shows a clear understanding of both perspectives on the issue and includes a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Transition words like 'First of all,' 'In contrast,' and 'In conclusion' help guide the reader through the arguments presented.
Logical Structure
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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