IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

#nations #wealth #food #education #responsibility #governments #citizens
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Wealthy
nations
Use synonyms
 have the moral responsibility to share poorer
nations
Use synonyms
 resources,
such
Linking Words
 as food, education, and the knowledge of projects to contribute to the local economy;
however
Linking Words
, the
obligation
Add an article
the obligation
an obligation
show examples
 that governments have in looking after the citizens is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
key to
this
Linking Words
 poor nation's growth economically and as a national project. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the importance of wealthy populations contributing to poorer communities without exempt authorities of these countries. Potential
nations
Use synonyms
 have a strong ability to increase their finance using correct resource allocation; in consequence of that, they evolve economic growth through proposals like sustainable development.
According to
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 the
last
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 idea, the wealthy
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help and afford poorer
nations
Use synonyms
, not just with tangible resources
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 food, or long-term ideas
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 education, nor the aid to create their own strategies to increase their advancement . An example of
that is
Linking Words
 an international institution that advises a poor nation to create an economy through its resources, like land or livestock. I consider that international cooperation can foster mutual benefits, enhancing trade relations and growth for both wealthy and
poorer
Correct word choice
poor
show examples
 societies.
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accountability governments of poorer countries have to look after their nation, they should be held accountable and seek international
institution
Replace the word
institutional
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 guidance to guarantee food sovereignty and education for all.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
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 important to keep in mind that the majority of poorer
nations
Use synonyms
 in the world have been affected by different conflicts,
such
Linking Words
 as wars or internal struggles, and poverty is a direct consequence of these controversies. For that reason, poorer
nations
Use synonyms
 need help to reduce the economic burden with local initiatives. Moving forward, it is vital to establish a balance where external aid complements regional actions, fostering a global environment of shared
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
duty without undermining national sovereignty.
Submitted by mariajoser3 on

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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to clearly convey complex ideas.
coherence
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.
support
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
task response
The essay addresses the task and provides a balanced perspective on the topic.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall structure of the essay.
content
The essay demonstrates an understanding of both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • global stability
  • economic self-sufficiency
  • sustainable development
  • capacity-building
  • foreign aid
  • mutual benefits
  • trade relations
  • long-term outcomes
  • dependency
  • moral obligation
  • alleviate poverty
  • humanitarian assistance
  • resource allocation
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