The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support you position.
A huge Revolution in
the
internet services has been witnessed during the past decade, Which has affected Correct article usage
apply
the
people's lives more than TV channels have done. Correct article usage
apply
This
beliefe
is mainly right as Correct your spelling
belief
believe
this
essay will present in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, it can not be denued
that our smart gadgets Correct your spelling
denied
enabled
people to Wrong verb form
enable
surfe
the web and access social media apps at Correct your spelling
surf
anytime
and everywhere. In the meaning that, Replace the word
any time
individuals
can keep updated with the latest news especially if they have activated the notification option. By which they will receive a message to inform them that there is a new story or a reel has been posted.
On the contrary
, televeside
Correct your spelling
television
programes
need to be edited and prepared before Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
beening
broadcasted either on TV screens or on media sites Correct your spelling
being
such
as You Tube
channels or on other similar apps. Anyway, it Correct your spelling
YouTube
well
be presented in a professional and in a balanced way. Correct your spelling
will
In other words
, it will respect the minds of the people and cover the
both Remove the article
apply
point
of Fix the agreement mistake
points
views
. Fix the agreement mistake
view
Besides
that, although
, TV channels not
mostly owned by Add a missing verb
are not
individuals
, yet
they are monitored and controlled by Correct word choice
apply
government
which would certainly reduce the negative impact on Add an article
the government
the
Correct article usage
apply
individuals
thoughts and opinions.
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
To sum up
, the aforementioned points clearly indicate the reasons why I consider the individuals
are recently more affected by the internet rather than the television. At the same time, this
affection is not necessary
a positive one if the Change the word
necessarily
followed
pages opine a Replace the word
following
wronge
aspect.Correct your spelling
wrong
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task response
Work on providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific incidents or studies showing the internet's impact.
task response
Enhance vocabulary and grammar accuracy. Minor errors such as spelling mistakes ('beliefe' should be 'belief', 'denued' should be 'denied') can distract from the overall quality of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay better. Make sure to clearly introduce your main points in the introduction and recap them in the conclusion for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to make the essay flow better. Use linking words like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast' to better connect ideas.
task response
You have a clear stance on the topic, which is commendable as it gives your essay a strong direction.
task response
You show a good understanding of the topic by discussing both the internet and television, which adds depth to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.