The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support you position.

A huge Revolution in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet services has been witnessed during the past decade, Which has affected
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people's lives more than TV channels have done.
This
beliefe
Correct your spelling
belief
believe
is mainly right as
this
essay will present in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, it can not be
denued
Correct your spelling
denied
that our smart gadgets
enabled
Wrong verb form
enable
show examples
people to
surfe
Correct your spelling
surf
the web and access social media apps at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
and everywhere. In the meaning that,
individuals
can keep updated with the latest news especially if they have activated the notification option. By which they will receive a message to inform them that there is a new story or a reel has been posted.
On the contrary
,
televeside
Correct your spelling
television
programes
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
need to be edited and prepared before
beening
Correct your spelling
being
broadcasted either on TV screens or on media sites
such
as
You Tube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
channels or on other similar apps. Anyway, it
well
Correct your spelling
will
show examples
be presented in a professional and in a balanced way.
In other words
, it will respect the minds of the people and cover
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
.
Besides
that,
although
, TV channels
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
mostly owned by
individuals
,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are monitored and controlled by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
which would certainly reduce the negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
show examples
thoughts and opinions.
To sum up
, the aforementioned points clearly indicate the reasons why I consider the
individuals
are recently more affected by the internet rather than the television. At the same time,
this
affection is not
necessary
Change the word
necessarily
show examples
a positive one if the
followed
Replace the word
following
show examples
pages opine a
wronge
Correct your spelling
wrong
aspect.
Submitted by nawartomry on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Work on providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific incidents or studies showing the internet's impact.
task response
Enhance vocabulary and grammar accuracy. Minor errors such as spelling mistakes ('beliefe' should be 'belief', 'denued' should be 'denied') can distract from the overall quality of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay better. Make sure to clearly introduce your main points in the introduction and recap them in the conclusion for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to make the essay flow better. Use linking words like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast' to better connect ideas.
task response
You have a clear stance on the topic, which is commendable as it gives your essay a strong direction.
task response
You show a good understanding of the topic by discussing both the internet and television, which adds depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interactive
  • Engaging experience
  • Immediate access
  • Vast amount of information
  • Educational resources
  • Personal and professional growth
  • Social media platforms
  • Communication and connection
  • Various forms of entertainment
  • Diverse interests
  • E-commerce
  • Two-way interaction
  • Consume content
  • Create and share
  • Beneficial
  • Flourished
  • Convenience
  • One-way medium
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!