Some people think it is better to spend and enjoy their money once they earn it. Others think it is better to save their money and enjoy it in the future. Which stand do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #money #future #support

Nowadays, some people believe

that is

better to save

money

in order to have a better

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

in the

future

while

other ones think that they should spend their

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

show examples

once they earn it.

According to

the way I see it, people should save their

money

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will discuss why it

will be

Wrong verb form

show examples

a better idea to save your finances and how could

this

affect your

future

Firstly

, is important to have some

money

aside to ensure that everything that you need is covered in the

future

This

due to

the fact that our society is constantly changing, and you never know

wen

Correct your spelling

when

show examples

you will

loose

Replace the word

lose

show examples

your job.

For example

, in 2008 a huge crisis

destoyed

Correct your spelling

destroyed

a lot of jobs and

as a result

of that, a lot of people

lose

Wrong verb form

lost

show examples

their houses, because they did not have the

money

to pay

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

mortage

Correct your spelling

mortgages

. If they

would have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

saved some

money

, they probably would

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

able to pay their bills and keep their home.

Secondly

, If you do not have enough

money

, you will not be able to

affront

Verb problem

afford

show examples

difficulties,

such

as severe deceases.

This

is because some hospitals give you

Change the article

show examples

expensive receipt in order to treat you,

otherwise

, if you are not able to pay, you will not

receibe

Correct your spelling

receive

the medical attention that you need.

For example

, when I went to the USA, I saw how a woman with

one

Correct determiner usage

show examples

broken leg had to go to another hospital, because the one that was closer to her, was

Replace the word

too

show examples

expensive.

To conclude

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is important to save

money

for the

future

years, in order to have a better

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

when you are a

grown up

Add a hyphen

grown-up

show examples

person.

Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on Sat Sep 07 2024

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task response

Consider reading through your essay to correct minor spelling errors such as 'wen' instead of 'when', 'loose' instead of 'lose', 'mortage' instead of 'mortgage', 'affront' instead of 'face', 'deceases' instead of 'diseases', 'recieve' instead of 'receive'. Additionally, ensure the tense of the verbs is consistent and appropriate for the context.

coherence and cohesion

Try to refine your introduction to more clearly convey the structure of your essay. While you have introduced your stand and provided a brief outline of the essay, structuring this more effectively can enhance your response. For example, 'In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why saving money is a better idea and how it can positively impact one's future.'

task response

Your essay provides a clear stand and maintains consistency in advocating for saving money throughout the essay. The examples provided are relevant and help to strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your points are logically organized, and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, contributing to the overall coherence of your essay. The introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purposes well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think it is better to spend and enjoy their money once they earn it. Others think it is better to save their money and enjoy it in the future. Which stand do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to globalization, many countries lose their traditions and national values. Some people think it is the responsibility of governments to protect these values. Do you agree or disagree?

despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write, what are the disadvantages, and what actions the should government take?