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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows changes in the amount of coffee exported from three countries between 2002 and 2012

The line graph below shows changes in the amount of coffee exported from three countries between 2002 and 2012
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The line graphs present the total amount of exported
coffee
Use synonyms
 from three different countries including
Brazil
Use synonyms
,
Colombia
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,
Use synonyms
Costa
Correct word choice
and Costa
show examples
Rica
Use synonyms
, from 2002 to 2012 with 2
year-interval
Correct your spelling
interval
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that all countries increased significantly in
coffee
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exportes
Correct your spelling
exports
exporters
 over the ten
year-period
Correct your spelling
year period
show examples
.
Brazil
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 had
cosistently
Correct your spelling
consistently
 dominated the others,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
followed by
Colombia
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. Unfortunately,
Costa
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Rica
Use synonyms
 was
relativelty
Correct your spelling
relatively
 low at the start
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and remained the
thrid
Correct your spelling
third
show examples
place
Use synonyms
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of the given period. In 2002,
Brazil
Use synonyms
 began
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
place
Use synonyms
 at 12
million
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 kilograms lower than
Costa
Use synonyms
Rica
Use synonyms
.
It
Correct pronoun usage
Its
show examples
 figure rose substantially, reaching 20
million
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 in 2008, followed by a minimal decrease to roughly 17
million
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 in 2012, and
then
Linking Words
 surged rapidly to over 25
million
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at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
.
Total
Add an article
The total
show examples
 amount of
coffee
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 exported by
Costal
Correct your spelling
Costa
show examples
Rica
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 had the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 number at
start
Add an article
the start
show examples
, experiencing a notable drop
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2006 with 7
million
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, and
then
Linking Words
 increased dramatically to 20
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2012, which
lower
Add a missing verb
was lower
show examples
 than
Use synonyms
Brazil
Change preposition
in Brazil
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Colombia
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 began with
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 with 5
million
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2002 and experienced some fluctuation between 2002 and 2008,
then
Linking Words
 rose considerably from 2
million
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2008 to 15
miliion
Correct your spelling
million
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
. In summary,
Brazil
Use synonyms
hold
Wrong verb form
held
show examples
 the first
place
Use synonyms
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of exported
coffee
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 by the
end
Use synonyms
 of the given period, which exceeded
Costa
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Rica
Use synonyms
 that has the highest number at the beginning.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Colombia
Use synonyms
remained
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest amount of exported
coffee
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 at the start and in the
end
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, brazil, colombia, costa, rica, place, end, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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