Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
many people believe that governments have to impose some restrictions in order to decrease the(effect
of
) rate of pollutants Change preposition
apply
affects
on Verb problem
apply
environment
and housing complexities to avert the widespread miscellaneous types of disorder. I subscribe to the notion that some illnesses derive from building maintenance conditions Correct article usage
the environment
such
as bacterial and fungal diseases
. ,meanwhile, a range of disorders result from the
environmental pollution in which humans play direct and indirect roles leading to a quiet number of waterborne plus soil-borne Correct article usage
apply
diseases
; even though all illnesses are not limited in those categories because of the genetical disorder
have great proportions which officials should be aware of them.
governments must tighten up regulations to conserve buildings, especially some houses located in humidity or cloudy areas since those kinds of weather Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
is
a suitable Verb problem
apply
term
for duplicating Fix the agreement mistake
terms
fungus
and bacteria. Italy is a significant illustration because that country is ancient Fix the agreement mistake
fungi
as well
as
most of the constructs and infrastructures// have been old//; Correct word choice
and
besides
, the state is located near the Mediterranean Sea, hence
there is an appropriate place for breeding mould bringing to
mental, respiratory plus digestive poisoning prevailing in that area. Change preposition
apply
secondly
, some diseases
are led by human activities including pure waste water to soil or sea which influence
on food chain since that kind of pollutant is consumed by animals and vegetation, ultimately eaten by humans, to result in Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
diseases
.
Hence
not only should the government provide rigid regulations but also
they should dedicate a budget in order to restore the old buildings in special zones and to prevent human activities bearing detrimental effects on nature.
on the other hand
, some types of illnesses come from genetic problems and mutations which
governments have to allocate sophisticated funds to universities and prepare suitable situations for experts in order to quest , predict and warn . Correct word choice
and
for instance
, Coronavirus is one of the mutation diseases
which
its effect has remained till now .
as outlined above, officials have to pass laws not only to prevent various types of bacterial on fungal Correct word choice
and
diseases
derived from poor maintenance houses and environmental pollutants but also
to provide the budget for genetic disorder research because it would be an intensive issue in future if experts did not quest about it .Submitted by pooya.sheytoon2 on
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introduction conclusion present
Work on developing a clearer and more structured introduction. Clearly state your position and outline the main points you will discuss in the essay.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow of ideas by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using appropriate linking words and phrases.
relevant specific examples
Provide more relevant examples to support your main points. This adds credibility and strengthens your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Expand on your ideas more comprehensively, providing more detail and complexity in your arguments. This will show a deeper understanding of the topic.
complete response
You have addressed both environmental pollution and housing problems as they relate to illness, which shows a good understanding of the question.
supported main points
There is a clear effort to support your points with examples, such as the reference to Italy's weather and its impact on mold growth.
introduction conclusion present
You have included a conclusion that summarizes your position, which helps reinforce your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.