University students always focus on one specific subject, but some people think that universities should encourage their students to study a wide range of subjects in addition to their own subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Education, education, education is a key success of
students
. Some say that
graduates
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graduate
show examples
Students
are given Concentration by one major subject, but others say they should learn broad
subjects
including their own Subject I Strongly agree with
this
statement because it enhances skill Knowledge and creates multifarious employment opportunities.
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with, university learners should
motivate
Wrong verb form
be motivated
show examples
to learn a wide range of
syllabus
Fix the agreement mistake
syllabi
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because it helps to improve
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
Skill development.
That is
to say,
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
subject not only helps to understand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life skills but
also
other major Courses can assist
to develop
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in developing
show examples
skills.
For example
, Physics major pupils
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learn's
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learn
show examples
computer science for their additional course,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will help
for
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in
show examples
their future
Career
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Careers
show examples
.
In other words
,
students
have a chance to learn other major
subjects
as their minor courses.
Furthermore
, learning
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range of additional
Subjects
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
more employment opportunities
to
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for
show examples
College
leamers
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
because they learn many
subjects
, So they have a basic knowledge
in
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of
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all
subjects
.
As a result
; broad employment chances are opened, and easily get a
job
.
For instance
, in 2017,
Oxford
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at Oxford
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university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
, 73% of the degree holders got Jobs in Cross majors, which is
minor
Correct article usage
a minor
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subjor
Correct your spelling
subject
was helped
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
enter the
job
world,
due to
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Job
. In Conclusion, University
Students
should
encourage
Wrong verb form
be encouraged
show examples
to Study other
subjects
besides
their majors because it enables more
job
chances
along with
skill development.
Therefore
, I strongly agree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
, college
students
Should learn wide
subjects
and it brings more benefits to Society too.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
Try using a more formal approach in the introduction, and clarify the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through the arguments presented in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use more precise language and avoid mixing up terms like 'major' and 'minor' subjects to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Good attempt at introducing the argument and providing a personal stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay does present an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame the discussion.
task achievement
Relevant examples are given to support the points made, which strengthens the argument.
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