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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table shows the average number of vehicles per hour on two roads during the week. The pie charts show the proportion of different types of transportation using each road.

The table shows the average number of vehicles per hour on two roads during the week. The pie charts show the proportion of different types of transportation using each road.
#vehicles #hour #two #roads #week #show #proportion #transportation #road
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The bar graph shows the percentage breakdown of the average vehicle type used by commuters per hour on two specific roads.
This
Linking Words
 data was obtained after one week
observation
Change preposition
of observation
show examples
. The table
on the other hand
Linking Words
 shows
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
 breakdown
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why
people
Use synonyms
 drive
cars
Use synonyms
 to commute in the city.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
cars
Use synonyms
 are the most commonly used motor vehicle in the city. 45 % of all
people
Use synonyms
 used
cars
Use synonyms
 as their main mode of transportation.
This
Linking Words
 is followed closely by light rail transit at 35 %. During the same time period
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
taxi's
Change noun form
taxis
show examples
 show only very minor usage at 10 % each.
Secondly
Linking Words
, commuting to work is the most common reason why
people
Use synonyms
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is followed closely by
business related
Add a hyphen
business-related
show examples
 travel and dropping children
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 school at 45 % and 40 % respectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
, shopping and leisure activities showed only 15% during the same time period. In summary,
cars
Use synonyms
 are the most
common
Change the word
commonly
show examples
 used for transportation and travelling for work is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 common reason cited by
people
Use synonyms
 for using
this
Linking Words
 motor vehicle.
Submitted by naveengeorge95 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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