The table shows the average number of vehicles per hour on two roads during the week. The pie charts show the proportion of different types of transportation using each road.

The table shows the average number of vehicles per hour on two roads during the week. The pie charts show the proportion of different types of transportation using each road.
The bar graph shows the percentage breakdown of the average vehicle type used by commuters per hour on two specific roads.
This
data was obtained after one week
observation
Change preposition
of observation
show examples
. The table
on the other hand
shows
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
breakdown
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
why
people
drive
cars
to commute in the city.
Firstly
,
cars
are the most commonly used motor vehicle in the city. 45 % of all
people
used
cars
as their main mode of transportation.
This
is followed closely by light rail transit at 35 %. During the same time period
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
and
taxi's
Change noun form
taxis
show examples
show only very minor usage at 10 % each.
Secondly
, commuting to work is the most common reason why
people
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
cars
.
This
is followed closely by
business related
Add a hyphen
business-related
show examples
travel and dropping children
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
school at 45 % and 40 % respectively.
Lastly
, shopping and leisure activities showed only 15% during the same time period. In summary,
cars
are the most
common
Change the word
commonly
show examples
used for transportation and travelling for work is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
common reason cited by
people
for using
this
motor vehicle.
Submitted by naveengeorge95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cars with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: