IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram belo shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram belo shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#belo #process #sugar #cane #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The picture illustrates the
manufacture
Change the verb form
manufacturing
show examples
 process from
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
 to
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process begins with growing
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
show examples
 with dried and cooled
sugar
Use synonyms
.
These
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 production of
sugar
Use synonyms
 has seven stages. In the beginning, the farmer needs to grow
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
. It will be mature when it’s twelve months at least until
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
eighteen
Change preposition
of eighteen
show examples
 months.
Then
Linking Words
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
 is able to be harvested;
however
Linking Words
, the farmer can choose to harvest it manually or using a
machine
Use synonyms
. The collected
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
, at
this
Linking Words
 point,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 directly
get
Verb problem
put
show examples
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the crushing
machine
Use synonyms
. The
machine
Use synonyms
 will turn from
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
 to juice,
then
Linking Words
 it will be filtered with
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
 filter.
Next,
Linking Words
the purified juice will be evaporated, so it becomes syrup. The syrup which still contains
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be centrifuged before the final step. After from
centrifudge
Correct your spelling
centrifuge
centrifuged
machine
Use synonyms
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
 is moved to
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
show examples
 and cooling tank.
Finally
Linking Words
, the final product of
sugar
Use synonyms
 is ready.
Submitted by rasyidrahma13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, machine with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: