some people think that young people should choose the jobs that they want but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Young generations have two ways of choosing their
future
profession: either by pursuing what they are passionate about, considering their
interests
, or by carefully thinking about their
future
career. In
this
essay, I will discuss both the positive and negative aspects of these two approaches and provide my personal opinion. It is significant for teenagers to choose jobs by considering their
interests
.
For example
, youngsters who choose their
future
job
according to
their own
interests
may achieve a more productive
job
with satisfaction, which leads to good results in their
future
careers.
In addition
, people will not feel bored or tired
while
doing work they adore.
Although
their
job
fulfils their personal
interests
, their
income
may not be as expected.
As a result
, the amount of money earned may not fully cover their needs and could lead to numerous financial problems.
On the other hand
,adolescents have to set more realistic goals by considering the amount of their
income
too.As it may inspire youngsters to start their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
with intentions and energy.
For example
,when they
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
satisfy
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
their wage they will be more confident about purchasing and spending it. without sutcking in financial problems.
Although
juniors will fulfil all of their basic needs,it includes many cons
consequences
Correct word choice
and consequences
show examples
.
Firstly
,they. will work hard just to earn their
income
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spite
Correct your spelling
despite
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing it with full
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
intentions and potential.
Secondly
,there will not be any excellent results and make them physically tired. In conclusion,
while
it is important to take into account the coming
income
of their
future
profession,jobs which are done by personal ambition and depend on their
interests
may lead to many pros consequences and
sattisfactions
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
satisfactions
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Ensure examples provided are specific and directly support the point being made. For example, instead of saying 'youngsters who choose their future job according to their own interests may achieve a more productive job with satisfaction,' you could specify a particular job or field and explain why passion leads to productivity in that specific context.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a clear, comprehensive alignment between points discussed in the body paragraphs and the conclusion to enhance overall coherence. For instance, briefly summarizing the main points in the conclusion can help achieve this.
overall
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve clarity. For example, replace 'suttcking' with 'stuck,' and 'full of intentions' with 'full of intention.'
task achievement
Develop each body paragraph to offer balanced reasoning for both views. While you discussed some positive and negative aspects, more depth and specific examples would strengthen your argument.
structure
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the essay's purpose, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes your opinion.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to balance both viewpoints, which demonstrates a fair discussion of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a logical structure transitioning smoothly between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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