some people think that young people should choose the jobs that they want but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Young generations have two ways of choosing their
future
profession: either by pursuing what they are passionate about, considering their interests
, or by carefully thinking about their future
career. In this
essay, I will discuss both the positive and negative aspects of these two approaches and provide my personal opinion.
It is significant for teenagers to choose jobs by considering their interests
. For example
, youngsters who choose their future
job
according to
their own interests
may achieve a more productive job
with satisfaction, which leads to good results in their future
careers.In addition
, people will not feel bored or tired while
doing work they adore. Although
their job
fulfils their personal interests
, their income
may not be as expected. As a result
, the amount of money earned may not fully cover their needs and could lead to numerous financial problems.
On the other hand
,adolescents have to set more realistic goals by considering the amount of their income
too.As it may inspire youngsters to start their job
with intentions and energy.Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
For example
,when they will
Verb problem
are
satisfy
Replace the word
satisfied
by
their wage they will be more confident about purchasing and spending it. without sutcking in financial problems.Change preposition
with
Although
juniors will fulfil all of their basic needs,it includes many cons consequences
.Correct word choice
and consequences
Firstly
,they. will work hard just to earn their income
in
Change preposition
apply
spite
Correct your spelling
despite
of
doing it with full Change preposition
apply
of
intentions and potential.Change preposition
apply
Secondly
,there will not be any excellent results and make them physically tired.
In conclusion,while
it is important to take into account the coming income
of their future
profession,jobs which are done by personal ambition and depend on their interests
may lead to many pros consequences and sattisfactions
.Correct your spelling
satisfaction
satisfactions
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Ensure examples provided are specific and directly support the point being made. For example, instead of saying 'youngsters who choose their future job according to their own interests may achieve a more productive job with satisfaction,' you could specify a particular job or field and explain why passion leads to productivity in that specific context.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a clear, comprehensive alignment between points discussed in the body paragraphs and the conclusion to enhance overall coherence. For instance, briefly summarizing the main points in the conclusion can help achieve this.
overall
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve clarity. For example, replace 'suttcking' with 'stuck,' and 'full of intentions' with 'full of intention.'
task achievement
Develop each body paragraph to offer balanced reasoning for both views. While you discussed some positive and negative aspects, more depth and specific examples would strengthen your argument.
structure
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the essay's purpose, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes your opinion.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to balance both viewpoints, which demonstrates a fair discussion of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a logical structure transitioning smoothly between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
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