Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people argue that wealthy
countries
should not provide employment opportunities to the skilled
labour
from poor
countries
because poor
countries
need the workers more. I completely disagree with
this
viewpoint because if wealthy
countries
refuse to employ skilled
labour
from poor
countries
, the poor
countries
will remain poor because most of the time they fail to utilize the potential of their workers. Poor
countries
generally depend on wealthy
countries
to earn
money
by sending skilled
labour
. If rich
countries
refuse to take skilled
labour
from the poor
countries
, the poor
countries
will ultimately suffer because they will not find any other suitable options and sectors to utilize
this
skilled
labour
and make
money
.
For instance
, in 2023, when the USA refused to employ skilled
labour
from the Middle East, labourers around the world protested against it because their own
countries
were not able to utilize their skills.
In addition
, if the rich
countries
become interested in employing skilled
labour
from the poor
countries
, the poor
countries
will experience remarkable economic development. If skilled labourers work in rich
countries
, utilize their skills, earn
money
and send it to their poor home
countries
, it ensures economic advancements.
For example
, every year Bangladesh sends a lot of skilled
labour
to numerous foreign
countries
and earn foreign
money
.
To conclude
, wealthy
countries
should come forward to welcome skilled
labour
from poor
countries
because poor
countries
do not have the opportunities to utilize it.
Moreover
, poor
countries
can experience economic development by sending skilled
labour
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
countries
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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The essay could benefit from more detailed development of the main points. For example, providing additional examples or statistical data could further strengthen the arguments presented. Also, consider addressing potential counterarguments to give a more comprehensive response.
coherence
The logical flow of the essay is generally good, but some transitions between paragraphs and ideas could be smoother. For instance, using more transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the arguments more fluidly.
coherence
While the introduction and conclusion are strong, ensure that each paragraph maintains a single clear focus and ties back to the main argument. This will improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the argument effectively.
task response
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, making the arguments more convincing.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt comprehensively, providing a clear stance on the issue.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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