IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#countries #labour #workers
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Some people argue that wealthy
countries
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 should not provide employment opportunities to the skilled
labour
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 from poor
countries
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 because poor
countries
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 need the workers more. I completely disagree with
this
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 viewpoint because if wealthy
countries
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 refuse to employ skilled
labour
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 from poor
countries
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, the poor
countries
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 will remain poor because most of the time they fail to utilize the potential of their workers. Poor
countries
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 generally depend on wealthy
countries
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 to earn
money
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 by sending skilled
labour
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. If rich
countries
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 refuse to take skilled
labour
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 from the poor
countries
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, the poor
countries
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 will ultimately suffer because they will not find any other suitable options and sectors to utilize
this
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 skilled
labour
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 and make
money
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.
For instance
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, in 2023, when the USA refused to employ skilled
labour
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 from the Middle East, labourers around the world protested against it because their own
countries
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 were not able to utilize their skills.
In addition
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, if the rich
countries
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 become interested in employing skilled
labour
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 from the poor
countries
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, the poor
countries
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 will experience remarkable economic development. If skilled labourers work in rich
countries
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, utilize their skills, earn
money
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 and send it to their poor home
countries
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, it ensures economic advancements.
For example
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, every year Bangladesh sends a lot of skilled
labour
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 to numerous foreign
countries
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 and earn foreign
money
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, wealthy
countries
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 should come forward to welcome skilled
labour
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 from poor
countries
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 because poor
countries
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 do not have the opportunities to utilize it.
Moreover
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, poor
countries
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 can experience economic development by sending skilled
labour
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
countries
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.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more detailed development of the main points. For example, providing additional examples or statistical data could further strengthen the arguments presented. Also, consider addressing potential counterarguments to give a more comprehensive response.
coherence
The logical flow of the essay is generally good, but some transitions between paragraphs and ideas could be smoother. For instance, using more transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the arguments more fluidly.
coherence
While the introduction and conclusion are strong, ensure that each paragraph maintains a single clear focus and ties back to the main argument. This will improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the argument effectively.
task response
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, making the arguments more convincing.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt comprehensively, providing a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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