IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the uk for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the uk for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #uk #purposes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph demonstrates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various aims in the period of 20
years
Use synonyms
, particularly from 1980 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, during all 20
years
Use synonyms
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 travelled to the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 for holidays, meanwhile, the fewest part of
travellers
Use synonyms
 came to meet their relatives and friends.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the number of visitors increased for all of the purposes.
However
Linking Words
, in 1989 nearly 6.5
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 visited the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 for holidays, clearly
this
Linking Words
 was the maximum for that year among the purposes. In 1994
amount
Use synonyms
 of
travellers
Use synonyms
 peaked at 9
million
Use synonyms
,
additionally
Linking Words
 the same number was observed in 2009, despite a sudden decrease among holiday
travellers
Use synonyms
. It
also
Linking Words
 should be mentioned that 9
million
Use synonyms
 is the maximum of
this
Linking Words
 chart in all
years
Use synonyms
. 5
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to travel to the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 for business purposes, which was the
second best
Add a hyphen
second-best
show examples
 result in 1989.
Although
Linking Words
 in different
years
Use synonyms
 the
amount
Use synonyms
 of businessmen travelling to the UK experienced both an upward and downward
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
, still in 2009 their quantity was higher than in the beginning, particularly constituting exactly 7
million
Use synonyms
travellers
Use synonyms
. Only about 3.5
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
's visit aim was to meet their relatives and friends, but till 2008 their
amount
Use synonyms
 went up
in contrast
Linking Words
 with other visitors, where both drops and growth were seen. After a slight decrease,
amount
Use synonyms
 of visitors declined by 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009 and comprised 6
million
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, people, kingdom, years, travellers, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: