The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialized and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggestion least one possible solution.

Huge overpopulation is said to be the
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
that concerns the
world
we live in.
not
Capitalize word
Not
show examples
only the poor areas of the
world
are expected to suffer the consequences but
also
the countries which are developed or moving toward development. These consequences vary in forms but there are
also
some steps which can be taken to fade the negative effects of it. The first impact of enormous population growth would be
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of land. As the
number
of
people
grows, there
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be a need for more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
land where they can reside.
This
will later lead
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
turning natural habitats into residential areas and deforestation.
Therefore
the outcome would be nothing but
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase in the
number
of endangered species. It will
also
be followed by the lack of nutrition so the
world
would be very likely to suffer a great famine. Having discussed the problems as
this
matter is taking place
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
scales
Fix the agreement mistake
scale
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
actions must
also
be planned globally. The first thing is for governors of all countries to shake hands on immigration policies to maintain the balance between the
number
of
people
and the sources of their lands. Another important step for
people
in charge would be
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
show examples
effort
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
informing
people
and setting fertility limits to slow down the rapid growth.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
as the radical
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
in the
number
of
people
living in the
world
affects the whole
world
in many different ways close attention must be paid by the
Correct your spelling
governments
government
govenments
Correct your spelling
governments
to overcome
this
crisis and individuals’ efforts seem not to be really practical
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your arguments are clear, but the ideas could be more thoroughly developed. For instance, the potential consequences of deforestation and famine can be elaborated with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try using more varied linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas across sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to your essay.
task achievement
You identified some major problems related to overpopulation, such as lack of land and nutrition, and suggested global coordination and fertility limits as solutions. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: