Q.) Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is an argument that
educate
boys and Wrong verb form
educating
girls
in one school
is more beneficial, whereas
others argue that it is better to separate them in different schools. I personally think it will be easier to educate students
with
the same sex in the Change preposition
of
school
, however
, this
essay will elaborate more on both sides.
Students
who join a mixed school
tend to have more various
friends with numerous ideas. As the Replace the word
varied
students
come from opposite genders, they are likely to have dissimilar points of view. It will lead them to learn more about respect to
others' boundaries. Change preposition
for
For example
, in Semarang, when it comes to exercise subject
, boys scholars willingly help Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
girls
to set up the
tools Correct article usage
apply
such
as net sports, due to
they understand that the Change preposition
because
girls
are not as strong as them to pick up those tools. Therefore
, girls
will also
respect to
the boys for helping them, leading to Change preposition
apply
create
Replace the word
the creation
such
a respectful environment and positive energy for the educators.
Conversely
, scholars who attend schools with
the same sex tend to have the same understanding. As the Change preposition
of
students
always meet the same genders everyday
, they will Replace the word
every day
more
Add a missing verb
be more
understandable
to each other and they are likely to get along easier. Replace the word
understanding
Furthermore
, since the teachers
are the same gender to
them, it should have Change preposition
as
effortless
learning process. Add an article
an effortless
For instance
, in Jakarta, female students
are more expressive and active in exercise subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
due to
there are no male students
who look at them while
doing the
physical sports which makes them quite shy. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, the study process is contented and it is easier for the teachers
.
In conclusion, while
the benefits of attending the mixed gender
Add a hyphen
mixed-gender
school
allows
Change the verb form
allow
students
to have the
humble environment, in my Correct article usage
a
opinion
scholars should have separated Add the comma(s)
opinion,
school
for each gender Fix the agreement mistake
schools
due to
it creates the
effortless learning process for the Correct article usage
an
teachers
, as long as there are adequate education facilities for both students
and teachers
.Submitted by chocolate10
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument before sharing your opinion. This will help the reader understand the structure of your essay from the beginning.
supported main points
Provide a little more elaboration on the examples given to clearly tie them back to the main points. This would help in making your arguments more compelling.
logical structure
Try to vary sentence structures to make the essay flow more smoothly. This can be achieved by combining simple and complex sentences while ensuring each point is clear and concise.
complete response
The essay captures both viewpoints well and provides a balanced discussion.
relevant specific examples
The examples given are relevant to the points being discussed, making the arguments more relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay has a clear structure with a logical flow of ideas, making it easier to follow.