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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the inforamtion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the inforamtion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the average variation in costs of three
metal
Fix the agreement mistake
metals
show examples
 monthly in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, all trends fluctuated in
this
Linking Words
 period. In January,
nickel
Use synonyms
 was the most demanding metal in comparison with other metals. In December,
zinc
Use synonyms
 was higher than
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 remained metals.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in January,
nickel
Use synonyms
 had
6
Correct article usage
a 6
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% change in price,
whereas
Linking Words
copper
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 were 2% and 1% respectively. From January to March,
nickel
Use synonyms
 had a dramatic fall from 6% to 1%.
Zinc
Use synonyms
 had an upward and a downward.
Besides
Linking Words
,
copper
Use synonyms
 kept its trend to decrease to around 0.5%. From March to May, all trends fell moderately. From May to June, again
nickel
Use synonyms
 had a significant drop from around 0.7% to -3%.
Also
Linking Words
,
zinc
Use synonyms
 decreased a bit sharply from 1% to -1%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
copper
Use synonyms
 continued steadily
with
Change preposition
at
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 around 0.5%.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 from June to September, there were fluctuations for all three metals. It can
bee
Correct your spelling
be
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 seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it started from an increase to
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
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 trend and
then
Linking Words
 a drop. Ultimately, in December,
zinc
Use synonyms
 with
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
% change in price was the highest value in comparison with
copper
Use synonyms
 and
nickel
Use synonyms
 with around 1.5% and 1% change in price.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nickel, zinc, copper with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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