Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contemporary
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
many people believe that
ono
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
one should be allowed to work over 65 years of age
while
others believe that they should not be limited to work.
This
essay will touch on both views citing
up on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
examples. In my opinion , the retirement age should be 65 years and above , since
this
is the time that the body becomes exhausted and worn out .Having worked during
early
Correct pronoun usage
your early
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years and invested in so many things,
this
is the time to relax and enjoy the fruits of your labour and hard work you did.At
this
point
Add a comma
point,
show examples
there is limited energy to struggle and all the necessities have been met.as
in
Change preposition
apply
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basic needs like stable housing and education
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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already acquired.
On the contrary
, the old should be
let
Verb problem
allowed
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to do some light duty , just for exercising but not as a means of earning a living.It should be
voluntarily
Change the word
voluntary
show examples
.If they wish to do so and if not ,
then
they are free to stay.
This
will strengthen their muscles and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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their bodies strong and active.
This
Correct pronoun usage
These
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are normal activities like household
duty
Fix the agreement mistake
duties
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. I strongly disagree since if age limitations
is
Change the verb form
are
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not looked
in to
Correct your spelling
into
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,
then
the end results will be low economic productivity.
Submitted by joycechumbaa86 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the points better. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is connected to the next one smoothly.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific and relevant examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the topic and presents both viewpoints, which shows a good understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a good framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory retirement age
  • age discrimination
  • work-life balance
  • economic stability
  • pension plans
  • life expectancy
  • older workforce
  • job market dynamics
  • intergenerational workplace
  • financial pressure
  • mentorship
  • productivity
  • new technologies
  • physical or mental decline
  • personal freedom
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