Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.

#people #age #shouldn’t #limitation #anyone #work

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

contemporary

society

Add a comma

society,

show examples

many people believe that

ono

Correct your spelling

show examples

one should be allowed to work over 65 years of age

while

others believe that they should not be limited to work.

This

essay will touch on both views citing

up on

Change preposition

apply

show examples

examples. In my opinion , the retirement age should be 65 years and above , since

this

is the time that the body becomes exhausted and worn out .Having worked during

early

Correct pronoun usage

your early

show examples

years and invested in so many things,

this

is the time to relax and enjoy the fruits of your labour and hard work you did.At

this

point

Add a comma

point,

show examples

there is limited energy to struggle and all the necessities have been met.as

Change preposition

apply

show examples

basic needs like stable housing and education

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

already acquired.

On the contrary

, the old should be

let

Verb problem

allowed

show examples

to do some light duty , just for exercising but not as a means of earning a living.It should be

voluntarily

Change the word

voluntary

show examples

.If they wish to do so and if not ,

then

they are free to stay.

This

will strengthen their muscles and

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

their bodies strong and active.

This

Correct pronoun usage

These

show examples

are normal activities like household

duty

Fix the agreement mistake

duties

show examples

. I strongly disagree since if age limitations

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not looked

in to

Correct your spelling

into

show examples

then

the end results will be low economic productivity.

Submitted by joycechumbaa86 on Sun Sep 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the points better. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is connected to the next one smoothly.

task achievement

Support your main points with more specific and relevant examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

The essay clearly addresses the topic and presents both viewpoints, which shows a good understanding of the prompt.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a good framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

207 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

mandatory retirement age
age discrimination
work-life balance
economic stability
pension plans
life expectancy
older workforce
job market dynamics
intergenerational workplace
financial pressure
mentorship
productivity
new technologies
physical or mental decline
personal freedom

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Self- practice 27/11 : Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Playing sports is a popular trend in lots of nations, however, some of them contruct the specific facilities and fields for the professionals rather than a general facilities for normal people. Personally, I think this could have a positive influence for the sports athletes.
4.5
band
Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Whether organizing an international sport campaign has been a controversial topic. On face of it, the advantages seem apparent, buy could there be a downside to this?
6.5
band
some people think that to be successful in sports, physical strength is the most important factor. Others, however, think that it is more important to be mentally strong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is often argued by a few audiences that physical power is very much essential to be a successful person in a play. However, others argue that mental stability is the most important requirement. I agree with both the opinions of the crowd and would like to express my notion in the below essay.
5
band
It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
The approach of teaching in primary school children should learn how to grow vegetables and how to keep animals has many merits and demerits. In this discussion, I will talk about how advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.
7.5
band
Do children should choose vocational learning or university?
Whether high school students should choose academic study at university or vocational schools has become controversial. While children should opt to study in university to get well-paying jobs, I also agree that vocational school is beneficial for them to pursue in several ways.

Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Self- practice 27/11 : Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people think that to be successful in sports, physical strength is the most important factor. Others, however, think that it is more important to be mentally strong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Do children should choose vocational learning or university?