As a results of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is an growing demand for more flights. what problems does this have on the environment? what measures could be taken to solve the problem?
Nowadays we are living in the era of speed,
likewise
the renaissance
period. Capitalize word
Renaissance
That is
why the demand
increased for more flights which is
Unnecessary verb
apply
consequently
, dose
Correct your spelling
does
a
damage Remove the article
apply
for
the environment. In Change preposition
apply
this
essay
I shall elaborate Add a comma
essay,
the
negative side of Change preposition
on the
this
demand
, as well as
I shall give a solution for this
problem.
To begin
with
the conception of exploit flights , as it Add a comma
with,
consider
a most comfortable option for travelling Change the verb form
considers
nevertheless
, it's
has a Unnecessary verb
it
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawback
drawbacks
effects
.
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
firstly
, on the environment via the pollution from the burning the fuel, secondly
, the need of
large Change preposition
for
amount
of petrol Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
hence
it's a costly matter. Moreover
, the demand
for oil refining operations eventually raises
. Correct your spelling
rises
Consequently
, it hasing
a reverse influence on the ecosystem.
The encouragement of travelling by shipping or train is a good idea for decreasing the request for air travel. Correct your spelling
has
Thereupon
, focusing on the
local tourism inside the country aids in Correct article usage
apply
change
the direction Wrong verb form
changing
from
Change preposition
of
the
tourism abroad. Correct article usage
apply
For example
: building
of convenient places for the citizen to spend the holiday there.
To sum it up. Travelling via Add an article
the building
airplane
is a crucial issue and a very comfortable option, but the heavy Change the spelling
aeroplane
demand
on
it will be a negative effect on the environment. Change preposition
for
Thus
, the
decreasing Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
this
demand
is an imperative notion by pathing another ways
to get Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
a
less damage on the ecosystem.Remove the article
apply
Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on
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task achievement
In your introduction, make sure to provide a clear statement addressing both parts of the question: the problems and the possible solutions. Your current introduction is a bit vague and could benefit from more detail.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your main points with more specific and detailed examples. For instance, mention concrete steps other countries have taken or specific environmental impacts from fuel combustion.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay is organized, but it could benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. Clearly state what each paragraph is about at the beginning and ensure each one logically follows the other.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional words and phrases more frequently to connect your ideas and make the essay flow more smoothly. This includes words like 'moreover', 'therefore', 'consequently', and so on.
task achievement
Provide more solutions and explain them in more detail. Address the feasibility and potential impacts of these solutions to demonstrate a clear understanding of the issue and its remedies.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt at covering both the negative impacts of air travel and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reiterating the negative impacts of air travel and the need for alternative methods.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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