The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period

A glance at the given chart depicts the

number

of individuals who took part in a wide range of activities at one social

center

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centre

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in Melbourne from 2000 to 2020.

Overall

, attending

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apply

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film clubs was the most popular action compared to other activities. It is obvious that the lowest rate of highlighted people

have

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has

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a tendency to participate in amateur dramatics in 2020.

In addition

number

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a number

the number

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of table tennis players dramatically

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

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increased during

this

time.

Number

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A number

The number

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of people who attended

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apply

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flim

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film

clubs experienced fluctuations and reached a peak of 65

participents

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participants

per year. Prior to 2005, nobody would

rathar

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rather

watch musical performances.

Moreover

, a mere 5 attendees in amateur dramatics existed in 2020.

Although

all actions witnessed growth or even

stablity

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stability

number

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a number

the number

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of attendees in the mentioned actions, amateur dramatic follows a downward trend. Both

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apply

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film club and material arts follow similar trends and

mentioned

Correct article usage

the mentioned

show examples

statistics remain stable during

this

period.

Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on Sun Sep 08 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

156 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

participants
social centre
comparison
trends
consistently popular
gained popularity
lost popularity
community interest
availability of facilities
social factors
economic factors
external events
economic downturns
health crises
demographic changes
aging population
marketing
community outreach programs
participation rates
Melbourne

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The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days, many people choose to work online. Is this a positive development? Do you think there are disadvantages of working online?

The picture shows the rates of smoking in Someland by men and women. Summerise key features and information where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others beilieve that the purpose of the museums is to eduacte. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that success is the best indicator for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?