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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think that the environment may be destroyed because of tourism. Others, however, believe that it is a way to preserve nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #environment #tourism #nature
there is no doubt that Some
people
 think tourism is the cause of sabotage and destroyed the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
,
only
Correct word choice
but only
show examples
 smart
people
 who
is beliveing
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 state.
InItially
Correct your spelling
Initially
show examples
,
let
Add a missing verb
let's
show examples
 look at the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 thinking that the problem is coming from the
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
,in
otherword
Correct your spelling
other words
other word
, tourism is the problem here
effecting
Replace the word
affecting
show examples
nature
,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
people
 are coming from different places
arround
Correct your spelling
around
 the world to see the Eiffel Tower ,And
that is
 nice for sure if we consider
econamic
Correct your spelling
economic
 reasons ,
while
 it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the city flowering by the tourist .
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another hand tourist
other hand tourists
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 tourist may bring so dieseas or even bad
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 and
speared
Verb problem
spread
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
arround
Correct your spelling
around
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them as
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 travel, Evenmore, they might be series issues .
certainly
Add a comma
certainly,
show examples
people
 are concerned about the
enviorument
Correct your spelling
environment
,But is
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 see
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is no way that tourism is the reason here.
finally
 , the
destroyed
Replace the word
destruction
show examples
 of the
enviorement
Correct your spelling
environment
 as I totally agree is
fron
Correct your spelling
from
nature
 itself and it
indeed
Add a missing verb
is indeed
show examples
 a way to preserve
natuer cuase
Correct your spelling
nature because
nature
 is
self restoration
Add a hyphen
self-restoration
show examples
.
Submitted by thoraya0506 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides an attempt to address both views on the topic, but the ideas are not fully developed or clearly explained.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs more logically connected points. Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs with each paragraph focusing on one main idea.
task achievement
You have demonstrated an understanding of the topic and attempted to address both perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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