some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of computer games.
Computer
games
have become an entertainment activity for all ages, including children
. (kurang bridging). The effects depend onto
the type of Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
games
and how children
respon
to Correct your spelling
respond
it
. In Correct pronoun usage
them
this
essay, I will outline the advantages and disadvantages of computer
game effects onto
Change preposition
on
children
.
It is often observed that by playing computer
games
, some of children
skills can be improved. First of all, the Change noun form
children's
games
will encourage children
to solve the problems. It makes children
enhance not only their problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
,
Add the word(s)
, but
buteven
Correct your spelling
but even
also
their critical thinking
Add a hyphen
critical-thinking
skill
. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Furthermore
, the problems on
Change preposition
with
computer
games
are quite challenging and so competitive. The children
tend s
toVerb problem
apply
be work
harder, so they can win it. Change the verb form
work
For example
, to win over their rival on
shooting Change preposition
in
games
, they need to think about the strategies which they learn
from the previous game they had lost.
Wrong verb form
learned
On the other hand
, one of the primary causes of computer
games
is children
could become addicted to it. They can spend many
of their timeCorrect quantifier usage
much
in
playing Change preposition
apply
games
, especially when they still could
not Verb problem
apply
get
satisfied. It Verb problem
apply
also
may happen if they get fulfilled by the games
, so they will crave for
more. Because Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
computer
games
identical
Add a missing verb
are identical
with
online Change preposition
to
platform
, it will become worse if their online friends bringFix the agreement mistake
platforms
the
negative impacts. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, their friend will shout out bad words when facing any challenge will increase their adrenaline. This
thing will become a habit which they will not use only in games
, but also
in their real life
friendship.
In conclusion, despite the existence of some advantages, I believe those drawbacks are far greater. Add a hyphen
real-life
However
, I believe problem solving
and critical thinking Add a hyphen
problem-solving
skill
for Fix the agreement mistake
skills
children
can be improved from
Change preposition
in
the
other ways.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
You need to refine the introduction to provide more background information and a clearer thesis statement. Make sure to connect all parts effectively to enhance the coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structures. Improving your grammar can significantly enhance the clarity of your arguments. Use complex sentences where appropriate for better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured framework for your arguments.
task achievement
You have brought up relevant and specific examples to support your claims, which is a great way to bolster your arguments.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...