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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #modes #transport #travel #work #european #city #information #features #comparisons
The bar charts
compares
Change the verb form
compare
show examples
 the percentage of
travellers
 in a European city by the four transport modes between 1960 and 2000. As shown by the graph,
It is clear that
 In 1960,
travellers
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to walk, but
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 cars
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the most popular transportation in 2000. Bike and walk saw the extreme
declined
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
 over the
40 years
Correct your spelling
40-year
 period. In 1960, over 33% of
travellers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
walked, which was almost 7 times of cars used by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists.
However
,
this
 number decreased as low under 10% in the year 2000. Despite
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 usage
were
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 low in the initial of the time frame, it saw
Correct article usage
a rose
show examples
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 become the most important transportation with over 35%. The other two top
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
int
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 1960, 1980, and 2000 were buses
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and bikes. In 1960,
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 had become the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 transportation
modes
Fix the agreement mistake
mode
show examples
 of over 25%, but the data showed that there was decreased to roughly 5%.
On the other hand
, the proportion of
travellers
 that
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
show examples
 using buses
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 not that changed with
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 15%
withing
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 the period.
Submitted by rasyidrahma13 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words travellers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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