Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.
Some
people
are for
the Change preposition
of
opinion
that those who are older than 65 should not be allowed to work while
others are against age
limitation and support the idea that anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age
. Before saying my opinion
I will talk about the views of supporters and proponents.
On one
Correct article usage
the one
hand
supporters of Add a comma
hand,
old
workforce Correct article usage
the old
thinks
there should not be Change the verb form
think
and
Correct your spelling
an
age
limitation because experience is one of the most important things in the workplace and old people
have the longest. Staying long
time as a worker, they have been through many Change the article
a long
challanges
and know the solution. Correct your spelling
challenges
New comers
can benefit from their Correct your spelling
Newcomers
knowladge
and become as good as old Correct your spelling
knowledge
people
in a
short run with a good "instructor".
Correct article usage
the
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
people
believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after age
of 65 as Add an article
the age
this
causes high
unemployment rate which is Correct article usage
a high
great
barrier for Add an article
a great
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
and and after certain age
productivity declines. According to
WHO, ,
after the Change the punctuation
apply
age
of 60, diseases overweigh productivity, which makes a person physically less relevant to work. Moreover
, it is true that old people
are more experienced and young
generation can benefit from their Correct article usage
the young
opinion
on challanges
in the workplace; Correct your spelling
challenges
however
, if they do not retire when time
comes, new applicants cannot get a chance to start working.
Add an article
the time
To conclude
what has been stated above, there are both who support and also
who are against the opinion
of
allowing workers to stay in the Change preposition
apply
labor
force after the Change the spelling
labour
age
of 65. I believe it would be better if there is a law not allowing people
older than 65 to continue their life as workers after certain
Add an article
a certain
age
.Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument. Improve by providing a stronger and clearer thesis statement in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help to illustrate your points more vividly and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints on the topic, which demonstrates a good understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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