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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#households #income #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given bar chart displays the
number
 of households with different yearly incomes in specific
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 including 2007, 2011 and 2015 in the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
.
Overall
, in the three mentioned years the
number
 of
people
 with an
income
 of 75.000-99.999 was stable at about 15
million
.
However
, the maximum
number
 of US residents who earned an annual
income
 of more than 100.000 was about 33
million
 in 2015. First of all, with a quick glance at the
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 we can see the
number
 of
people
 with an
annul
Correct your spelling
annual
show examples
income
50.000
Change preposition
of 50.000
show examples
-74.000
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every three years and
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 about 20
million
.
In addition
, the difference between the
number
 of
people
 with
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
income
 and the second level (25.000-49.000) approximately remain in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount in three years.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 both of them grew up or dawn together. The
number
 of
people
 with higher
income
 was about 30
million
 in 2007 and it decreased in 2011 and touched 28 ,but with dramatic increase have experienced the highest percentage to 33 in 2015.
Moreover
, the
number
 of
people
earned
Correct pronoun usage
who earned
show examples
 an annual
income
 of 75.000-99.000 has been in minimum proportion in every mentioned year.
Submitted by n.fallahi327 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, income, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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