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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows of expeditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart below shows of expeditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.
#bar #expeditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year
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The bar chart illustrates the information that expenditure of five various categories
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Food
Change preposition
as Food
show examples
, Housing,
Transportation
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,
Healthcare
Use synonyms
 and Clothing in different four
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 the USA, Canada, the UK and Japan in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 most
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on housing in all
nations
Use synonyms
 except Japan.
Healthcare
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 and clothing were the least
amount
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 of expenditure. In detail, Japan spent the highest
amount
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 the USA, which is around 23% and 22% was spent on housing and one in ten
amount
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 only spent on
transportation
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 but
healthcare
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 and clothing were spent the lowest
amount
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. The USA spent more
money
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 on housing, at around 26% and they used 17% of
Use synonyms
money
Add an article
the money
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 on
transportation
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,
14
Correct word choice
and 14
show examples
% on
food
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.
United
Correct article usage
The United
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 States spent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
most
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money
Use synonyms
 on
healthcare
Use synonyms
 as compared to other
nations
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, which is around 8 per cent and
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
least
Correct article usage
the least
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amount
Use synonyms
 on clothing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Canada spent the highest
money
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 on
transportation
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 and clothing than other
nations
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 but they spent the largest capital on housing, at 21% and a fifth cash for
transportation
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, 15 per cent on
food
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 and 6% and 4%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 clothing and
healthcare
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 respectively. The UK spent more cash on housing, at 24 per cent and a fifth for
food
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.
Transportation
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 expenses
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 15% and clothing was 6% but they spent a
little
Correct word choice
small
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amount
Use synonyms
 on
healthcare
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 and the UK
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 the least
amount
Use synonyms
 on
healthcare
Use synonyms
 than other
nations
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, transportation, healthcare, money, nations, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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