IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

#countries #people #history #research
It is
higly comman
Correct your spelling
highly common
 situations that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 wonder about their inhabitant
history
.
However
interested
Replace the word
interest
show examples
 in
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their home locations is a controversial issue today. On the one hand many people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that it has some advantages
on the other hand
 some people think that there are a few disadvantages of finding out
these development
Change the determiner
this development
show examples
. In the first
place
Add a comma
place,
show examples
 the most important
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of finding out
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 where you live
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us numerous
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
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learning
origin
Add an article
the origin
show examples
 of areas you live. If we learn
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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 more
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 about
areas
Correct article usage
the areas
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where we live we more understand why we
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
this
 region in the past.
Moreover
 learning
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the homeland
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homeland
Correct article usage
the homeland
show examples
 will increase our
Replace the word
devotion
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devoted
Replace the word
devotion
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 to loyalty
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
 we will
Wrong verb form
try
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trying
Wrong verb form
try
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 to us
Correct pronoun usage
our's
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one's
Change noun form
one
show examples
 best for our future is an additional positive effect of research
this
. That's why I believe that whether searching origin or not is
Correct article usage
a remerkable
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remerkable
Correct your spelling
remarkable
remarkably
 signal of local people acknowledge's.
Besides
 It might be
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
 that
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 out
these some
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 information in the rural areas because of
domestic
Add an article
the domestic
show examples
 population but in spite of the fact that it might be a little bit complex in the cities because of crowded populations is invaluable.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
 taking everything into account finding out
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 where you live has
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
some negative effects it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 to me that its positive effect outweigh its negative effects.
Submitted by yagmurryurttas on

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task achievement
Focus on grammatical accuracy to minimize errors that may confuse the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions for smoother flow and better reader comprehension.
task achievement
Develop more detailed and specific examples to support your main points.
task achievement
The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages of researching the history of homes.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and help frame the discussion.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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