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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given maps
displays
Change the verb form
display
show examples
 the floor layout of
central
Add an article
the central
show examples
library
Use synonyms
 in the past (
20years
Correct your spelling
20 years
 ago) and its development in present.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 has changed and improved facilities for visitors to make
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 more convenient for them by adding
café
Correct article usage
a café
show examples
, self-service machines and sofas. In the first map,
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 had a reading room in the
south west
Correct your spelling
southwest
show examples
 corner
that
Linking Words
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 replaced by
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 room
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 design.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the location of
door
Add an article
the door
show examples
 is changed and located on the left hand of
entrance
Add an article
the entrance
show examples
. The
space
Use synonyms
 for videos and computer games at the
north west
Correct your spelling
northwest
show examples
 corner
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the old layout has become larger and its function changed .
This
Linking Words
space
Use synonyms
 contains two
sofa
Change to a plural noun
sofas
show examples
 for visitors to sit and
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
 storytelling events,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 there are
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 fiction books` shelves. The
space
Use synonyms
 between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 mentioned
corner
Fix the agreement mistake
corners
show examples
 that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 related to adult fiction books
are become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 smaller and replaced with all
references
Change the noun form
reference
show examples
 books` shelves. The tables and chairs which
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 located in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
library
Use synonyms
 in the past are eliminated.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
space
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 children`s
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 are changed to
lecture
Correct article usage
a lecture
show examples
 room and a café is constructed on
enquiry
Correct article usage
the enquiry
show examples
 desk location. The
space
Use synonyms
 between two parts that
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 related to non-fiction books for adults
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 changed. Three self-service machines are located there adjacent to the café and shelves of adult fiction books with an information desk are located there.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words library, space with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • layout
  • reading area
  • computer station
  • multimedia section
  • children's area
  • reference section
  • study cubicles
  • shelving units
  • digital media
  • technological advancements
  • user behavior
  • accessibility
  • traffic flow
  • modernization
  • community needs
  • conversion
  • allocation
  • removal
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