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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below showa the resultsof a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below showa the resultsof a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#showa #resultsof #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates what percentage of five Australian
cities
Use synonyms
’ residents bought fresh
coffee
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, bought instant
coffee
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, or went to a café for
coffee
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 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, in all
cities
Use synonyms
, there is the vast majority of people went to a café for
coffee
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 and tea
while
Linking Words
 the least proportion of them bought fresh
coffee
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: residents’ percentage who
prefered
Correct your spelling
prefer
 fresh
coffee
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 doesn’t transcend 50% in all
cities
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. Melbourne, Hobart, and Sydney have registered the highest value for the category of going to café for drinks, accounting for 63%, 62%, and 61% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are 3 Australian
cities
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, of which the most residents answered that they had bought fresh
coffee
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last
Linking Words
 4 weeks compared to other
cities
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, maintaining more than 35%; particularly, 44% of Sydney’s
population
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, 43% of Melbourne’s
population
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, and 38% of Hobart’s
population
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’s drinking habit is mainly linked to fresh
coffee
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. Brisbane and Adelaide have the lowest value for a group
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 fresh
coffee
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. Meanwhile, Brisbane’s nearly 55% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 has a habit
to go
Change preposition
of going
show examples
 to a café for drinks,
Adelaide’s
Correct word choice
while Adelaide’s
show examples
 only 49%
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the same habit.
Conversely
Linking Words
, Adelaide’s
half
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 has a tendency to buy instant
coffee
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. Brisbane
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of people who bought instant
coffee
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last
Linking Words
 4 weeks, maintaining nearly 53%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, only 34 % of its
population
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 bought fresh
coffee
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, and the same trend can be observed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Adelaide.
Submitted by IELTS nis on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, café, cities, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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