Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a jobb straight after shcool. Discuss both views.
While
some people argue that studying at Linking Words
university
or college is necessary for their Use synonyms
future
Use synonyms
career
, Use synonyms
other
believe that getting a job immediately after secondary school.Both Fix the agreement mistake
others
view
will be discussed, and I believe that the former view is more persuasive.
On the one hand,pupils should get a job immediately after graduate school.Change to a plural noun
views
Firstly
,it is beneficial for society as a whole.They can competent and skilled workforce,Linking Words
Linking Words
also
it can contribute to economic growth.Correct word choice
and also
Secondly
,it can make Linking Words
their
own economic concept.Correct pronoun usage
its
For example
,they work for a long time to earn money,it can Linking Words
helps
to Change the verb form
help
awake
them Correct your spelling
wake
earning
money is very hectic so they will save their money.
Correct word choice
that earning
On the other hand
,students will Linking Words
studying
at Change the verb form
study
be studying
university
Use synonyms
for
make their successful Change preposition
to
Use synonyms
career
.First of all,pupils can learn more Fix the agreement mistake
careers
in depth
about what they Add a hyphen
in-depth
study
.They can improve their knowledge for their Use synonyms
future
Use synonyms
career
to have better jobs.Use synonyms
In addition
,they can make new relationships for their Linking Words
future
.Use synonyms
For example
,if they make new relationships at Linking Words
university
or college they can get some Use synonyms
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
for
their peer to have advice who Change preposition
from
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
aready
has Correct your spelling
already
success
Replace the word
a successful
career
.It can Use synonyms
helps
them in the Change the verb form
help
future
or give Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
them competivite
competivite
Correct your spelling
competitive
spirits
Fix the agreement mistake
spirit
for
Change preposition
to
study
hard Use synonyms
at
higher education.
In conclusion,Change preposition
in
although
it can Linking Words
helps
Change the verb form
help
socioeconomic
growth, I believe that Correct your spelling
socio-economic
Use synonyms
study
tertiary education is necessary.Wrong verb form
studying
Thus
, students should Linking Words
study
more in Use synonyms
university
to improve their knowledge.Use synonyms
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grammar
Focus on improving grammar and sentence structure. For example, 'Secondly, it can make their own economic concept.' would be clearer as 'Secondly, working after school can help them understand the value of money.'
development
Develop main points more comprehensively. Instead of just stating that university can lead to better job prospects, explain how and why this happens.
introduction
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion of both views and states a clear position.
conclusion
The conclusion reiterates the writer's position, which helps in rounding off the essay satisfactorily.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?