Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas in words, pictures, music, or film, in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own
ideas
in words, pictures, music, or film, in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. I totally agree with
this
statement. Nowadays, most artists and content makers are forced to be limited in their opportunities and creations.
However
, our time vice verse needed to
such
creative people, business
ideas
, inspire-motivators and modern art coaches are some of the most wanted at the recent markets. People who dedicate their whole lives to their own
ideas
, pictures, music and films are not to be restricted by the government only because of the high danger coefficient.
Moreover
,
such
people never reject and neglect their lovely business and will not be disappointed with them
due to
their full understanding of the perfection of those
ideas
.
Submitted by berlinastanalll on

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task achievement
Your essay starts well by stating your position clearly, but it needs more detailed examples to fully support your argument. Consider including specific cases or examples of artists who have benefitted from freedom of expression.
task achievement
Try to elaborate your main points further. For instance, you mentioned that government restrictions can stifle creativity, but providing examples or citing incidents can strengthen your argument significantly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas flow logically from one to the next. Transitions between paragraphs can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
A strong conclusion would help to reinforce your argument. Summarise your main points and restate your position to leave a lasting impression.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and directly addresses the topic, setting up your argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay covers relevant points regarding the importance of creative freedom and how government restrictions could negatively impact artists.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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