In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?
Nowadays, technology has significantly affected
people
's lives. One of its enhancements is in the banking field and online paying through mobile applications and the internet
; in my perspective, the benefits of utilizing Capitalize word
Internet
such
products outweigh their drawbacks. Both positive and negative points of this
subject will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Online payment through cellphones
eases banking works for Correct your spelling
cell phones
people
; as a serious result, there is convenience in different bank
transactions. Doing this
means, people
will save their
time by not going to the Correct pronoun usage
apply
bank
in heavy traffic, so wherever they are, they can do their account works
and payments Fix the agreement mistake
work
such
as transferring money to others, paying the cost of energy, taxes and opening a new account. Besides
, carrying cash money or credit cards is risky, especially in crowded cities; they can be lost or stolen. Therefore
, by using e-banks such
action can be prevented due to
the fact that all expenses of day-to-day shopping can be done through this
technology.
Taking such
action, However
, bears some disadvantageous points; cybercrimes are the most substantial one. If these kinds of applications do not have a high security level, users will be faced with the leakage of their data, the
issue which provides a proper field for hackers. Correct article usage
an
In other words
, cybercriminals in the dark net can abuse such
pieces of information to rob users' money by transferring it to another unknown account which belongs to them. Furthermore
, according to
the low quality of the internet in some districts, people
's accessibility to their e-wallet will encounter some problems when they need to make some necessary payments
In conclusion, although
the development of bank
apps on online platforms has some disadvantages, taking such
action benefits people
in diverse areas. Inconvenient factors of bank
works
, Fix the agreement mistake
work
such
as wasting time in queues for doing some payments, have been demolished by this
improvement.Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on
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vocabulary
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your essay. For example, instead of saying "doing this means, people will save their time," you could say "this approach allows individuals to save valuable time."
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved using linking words and phrases. For example, start your second paragraph with "Firstly," or "To begin with," and the third paragraph with "On the other hand," or "However," to clarify the shift in focus.
examples
Although your essay covers the main advantages and disadvantages, it could benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Concrete examples can make your arguments more compelling.
counterarguments
You should also consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your essay. For example, you could mention how mobile banking apps are continually improving in security measures to counter cybercrime.
content
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phone payments. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow and understand.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively highlighted the main points and supported them with logical reasoning. This demonstrates a sound argumentation skill.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...