In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #phone #cellphone #apps #development

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Nowadays, technology has significantly affected

people

Use synonyms

's lives. One of its enhancements is in the banking field and online paying through mobile applications and the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

; in my perspective, the benefits of utilizing

such

Linking Words

products outweigh their drawbacks. Both positive and negative points of

this

Linking Words

subject will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Online payment through

cellphones

Correct your spelling

cell phones

show examples

eases banking works for

people

Use synonyms

; as a serious result, there is convenience in different

bank

Use synonyms

transactions. Doing

this

Linking Words

means,

people

Use synonyms

will save

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

time by not going to the

bank

Use synonyms

in heavy traffic, so wherever they are, they can do their account

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and payments

such

Linking Words

as transferring money to others, paying the cost of energy, taxes and opening a new account.

Besides

Linking Words

, carrying cash money or credit cards is risky, especially in crowded cities; they can be lost or stolen.

Therefore

Linking Words

, by using e-banks

such

Linking Words

action can be prevented

due to

Linking Words

the fact that all expenses of day-to-day shopping can be done through

this

Linking Words

technology. Taking

such

Linking Words

action,

However

Linking Words

, bears some disadvantageous points; cybercrimes are the most substantial one. If these kinds of applications do not have a high security level, users will be faced with the leakage of their data,

the

Correct article usage

show examples

issue which provides a proper field for hackers.

In other words

Linking Words

, cybercriminals in the dark net can abuse

such

Linking Words

pieces of information to rob users' money by transferring it to another unknown account which belongs to them.

Furthermore

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the low quality of the internet in some districts,

people

Use synonyms

's accessibility to their e-wallet will encounter some problems when they need to make some necessary payments In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the development of

bank

Use synonyms

apps on online platforms has some disadvantages, taking

such

Linking Words

action benefits

people

Use synonyms

in diverse areas. Inconvenient factors of

bank

Use synonyms

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

such

Linking Words

as wasting time in queues for doing some payments, have been demolished by

this

Linking Words

improvement.

Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on Mon Sep 09 2024

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vocabulary

Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your essay. For example, instead of saying "doing this means, people will save their time," you could say "this approach allows individuals to save valuable time."

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved using linking words and phrases. For example, start your second paragraph with "Firstly," or "To begin with," and the third paragraph with "On the other hand," or "However," to clarify the shift in focus.

examples

Although your essay covers the main advantages and disadvantages, it could benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Concrete examples can make your arguments more compelling.

counterarguments

You should also consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your essay. For example, you could mention how mobile banking apps are continually improving in security measures to counter cybercrime.

content

Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phone payments. This shows a good understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow and understand.

coherence cohesion

You have effectively highlighted the main points and supported them with logical reasoning. This demonstrates a sound argumentation skill.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
safety
security
time-saving
cashless transactions
dependence on technology
privacy concerns
accessibility issues
financial vulnerability

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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in oder to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e.g. cost, environments. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Celebrities and famous people require constant attention from the media (newspapers, Internet). Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and families. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?