In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#countries #rates #crimes #people #measures

The number of crimes has obviously decreased

due to

advancements in broadcasting technologies. If a person

Change the verb form

does

show examples

harm to innocent people, their personal information and faults can be widely announced in

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

This

essay will delve into why

this

phenomenon has been caused and solutions. There is a major cause that incurs people’s anxiety and dangers in crimes.

News

should convey true information to audiences without any

exaggeration

after cross-checks.

However

, recent

news

and journalisms tend to overstate cases to attract more audiences than competitive broadcasting stations.

For example

, in Korea, a broadcasting station announced an accident

that

Change preposition

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

which a

show examples

passenger was dead as the

taxi-driver

Correct your spelling

taxi

show examples

was

seem

Wrong verb form

seemed

show examples

to be

forwards

Replace the word

forward

show examples

to a doubtful place.

But

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, the

news

was differed from the

fact

Fix the agreement mistake

facts

show examples

, which revealed after a few days. The

taxi-driver

Correct your spelling

taxi driver

show examples

actually drove his

uber

Capitalize word

Uber

show examples

to arrive at the correct destination for the passenger, but her over-anxiety

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

had

beed

Correct your spelling

been

built up by overstated

news

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

occurred

Verb problem

caused

show examples

her death unfortunately.

As a result

, exaggerated

news

may allow people to feel fearful excessively like

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

above case. A viable solution is to enforce laws related to

news

. Allowing media companies to create

news

including exaggerated information will enable audiences

feel

Add the particle

to feel

show examples

anxiety excessively. If the government regulates them with stricter laws, the number of

journalisms

Correct your spelling

journalists

show examples

including

exaggeration

will

decreased

Change the verb form

decrease

be decreased

show examples

Furthermore

, it will contribute to citizens

to grow

Change the verb form

growing

show examples

a proper level of danger in severe cases in a positive way.

According to

a report, when the

Brazil

Replace the word

Brazilian

show examples

government fostered media laws to protect audiences’ excessive danger in society, the number of

news

involving

exaggeration

decreased

with

Change preposition

show examples

70% than the prior year. In conclusion, the major reason why people’s fear

Change preposition

show examples

crimes

maintain

Wrong verb form

is maintained

show examples

is the

exaggeration

of journalism.

Furthermore

this

issue will be solved if the government fosters regulations about

this

problem.

Submitted by ekgus2309 on Mon Sep 09 2024

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task response

Ensure to fully develop all main points with sufficient detail and examples to support all claims made in the essay. Avoid any ambiguity.

task response

Improve clarity and precision of language to ensure that ideas are communicated effectively. Pay close attention to grammar to avoid misunderstandings.

coherence cohesion

Organize paragraphs more effectively with clear topic sentences and logical progression from one idea to another. Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a more varied range of vocabulary and sentence structures to communicate ideas effectively and make the essay more engaging.

task response

The essay addresses the topic and provides relevant examples and details, making it clear that the writer understands the prompts and aims to offer comprehensive reasons and solutions.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

availability heuristic
media coverage
misinformation
urbanization
community cohesion
justice system
economic inequality
community policing
media literacy
surveillance
swift justice
social cohesion
neighborhood watch
deterrent

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Your opinion

Environmental problems are becoming a global issue and are challenging the quality of life.do you think that environmental problems will produce better results if it is addressed globally or should be addressed by individual countries?

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people say that it is too late to do something while others think that actions can be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both sides of the view and give your opinion.

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Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries, and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?