Some people think exposure to modern technology at an earlier age is good for children, while others claim that it is harmful to their development. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It is often argued that few individuals believe that exposure to the latest inventions is beneficial for
children
at an early age
while
others consider that it is unhealthy for their maturation.As far as
I m
Correct your spelling
I'm
concerned, I strongly agree with the notion that modern
technology
is detrimental to the growth of
children
. On the one hand, few people think that the latest
technology
is beneficial for
children
at an early age
this
is because it enhances the cognitive development of
children
and increases the learning process.Meanwhile,
children
are able to learn new strategies which enhance their thought
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
and creativity.
For example
, one study shows that playing games on mobile phones
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
the cognitive development of
children
.
however
, it is useful to use modern technologies.
On the other hand
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
believe that using modern
technology
is fruitless for
children
's growth
this
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it affects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interpersonal interaction and increases aggression in
children
.
Moreover
,
children
are reluctant to interact with their parents and siblings
while
playing fighting games on mobile phones
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
aggression
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For instance
, in one study it is shown that 80% of
children
show agreeing
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
while
playing fighting games .
However
, it is harmful for
children
to use modern
technology
.
To sum up
, many people believe that using modern
technology
is deleterious for
children
because it increases aggression
however
I
m
Verb problem
apply
show examples
strongly agree with
this
statement that modern
technology
has an adverse effect on
children
's development.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence variety to enhance readability; avoid repetitive structures.
task achievement
Develop ideas more fully with additional examples and explanations.
task achievement
Check grammar and punctuation for small errors to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Addresses both sides of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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