IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most career choices demand vocational skills or specialist knowledge. However, despite this, most school still teach academic subjects such as history or social studies. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#career #choices #demand #skills #specialist #school #subjects #history #studies
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In recent decades
witnessed
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apply
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practical
skill
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skills
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are
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have become
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 more acceptable to
people
 who
aimed
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aim
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 to choose a goal. Though it has some undeniable amenities for career selection, there
are
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is
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 a practice to teach academic subjects in
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of schools. On the one hand, in the recent revolutionary
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 almost all of the community
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more likely to
geathered
Correct your spelling
gather
gathered
 some knowledge
which is
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that
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 directly
effect
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affects
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 their profession.
Firstly
,
by
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through
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 the blessings of vocational knowledge,
people
 who
are
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apply
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persue
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pursue
 better
work
 can be
successed
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successful
to conserve
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in conserving
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 their position. To clarify.
People
 with particular experience are more capable to
porticipate
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participate
 not only a better
Job
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job
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 but
also
secure
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a secure
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life style
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lifestyle
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.
For instance
, A student
I
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apply
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who completed his graduation under BUET in engineering
is captivate
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is captivated
is captivating
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 easily by the renowned construction company rather than others.
Secondly
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Secondly,
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 studies in a particular Vocational subject can lead students to
determind
Correct your spelling
determine
 their aim where they want to reach.
On the other hand
, there are some considerable
obstacle
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obstacles
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
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 vocational study. First of all,
in
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apply
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this
 theory it gives less
impect
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impact
 on
enhancement
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the enhancement
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 of
overall
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 which can aid them to
lead
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leading
show examples
 plenty of
sector
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sectors
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Simultaniously
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simultaneously
.
For example
, In developing
country
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countries
show examples
where
Correct word choice
that
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 have a limited source of specialistic
work
,
people
 face
husle
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problems
 with
the
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apply
show examples
specific knowledge rather than
geathered
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gathering
 all the information about the entire
work
 environment.
Besides
 these, there are a number of unemployment
uplifted
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uplifts
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 if most of the communities are engaged with
specific
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a specific
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subject
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subjects
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 to
experienced
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experience
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 better
work
 where lack of
existance
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existence
 of
specilist
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specialist
work
. In
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conclusion
conclution
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conclution,
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 There are a
planty
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plenty
 of advantages to
acknowledge
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acknowledging
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 specialist
skill
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skills
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 with a lot of
opportunity
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opportunities
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by
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with
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the
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apply
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advanced technology. Al the
mean time
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meantime
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accademic
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academic
subject
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subjects
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 are
same
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the same
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 as vital as
vocational
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a vocational
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 study in most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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resions
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regions
 in the world. Because of the
unavailibility
Correct your spelling
unavailability
availability
 of some source of income who deal with an average quality rather than special.
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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay in a clearer structure. Use more paragraphs to separate different points and ensure a logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary usage to avoid small errors that can distract from your message. Simple and clear language can often be more effective.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and depth of your arguments. Make sure each point is fully explained and supported with relevant examples.
task achievement
Address both advantages and disadvantages more evenly to provide a balanced discussion. This will show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have included relevant and specific examples in your essay, which strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and the ability to discuss different sides of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, though they could be enhanced with more detailed analysis.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • - **Vocational Skills:** Practical abilities that are directly related to a specific job or occupation. - **Specialist Knowledge:** Expertise or detailed understanding in a specific field or subject. - **Academic Subjects:** Courses of study that provide theoretical knowledge rather than practical skills. - **Well-rounded Education:** A comprehensive form of learning that covers diverse subject areas. - **Critical Thinking:** The ability to analyze information objectively and make a reasoned judgment. - **Citizenship:** The qualities that a person is expected to have as a responsible member of a community. - **Social Responsibility:** The ethical framework that suggests individuals and organizations must act for the benefit of society. - **Resource Allocation:** The process of distributing available resources to various uses. - **Practical Skills:** Abilities applied to perform certain tasks in real-world scenarios.
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