IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #students #study #science #food #school #time #subjects
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It is debatable that
students
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 should learn the
science
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 of
food
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 and how to prepare it in
school
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. Some people agree with the statement,
while
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 others view it as a waste of
time
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 and that
school
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time
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 should be used
in
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for
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 studying important
subjects
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.
In
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From
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 my perspective, I agree that it would be better for the
students
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 to focus on core
subjects
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 during
school
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time
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. Studying about
food
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 and how to prepare it does benefit the
students
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 in many ways. One realistic advantage of it is that it is a needed skill in adulthood. Having the knowledge about
food
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 can better prepare the
students
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 for the future when they have to live by themselves.
Besides
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 that, they would be more aware of their health and able to take care of themselves in any event of emergency.
For example
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, when there is a storm moving to the area where they are living and it is advised for everyone to stay at home, being able to cook and utilize the ingredients would help them keep themselves full.
However
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, despite being advantageous to the
students
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, I do think it is more important for them to focus on the core
subjects
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 during
school
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time
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. One reason is that
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science
Correct article usage
the science
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 of
food
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 and how to prepare it can be studied in their free
time
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 as there are many short courses available online
as well as
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 during the weekends.
Students
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 can choose to study based on their preference as the majority of
the
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apply
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teenagers around their age are not very interested in studying
about
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apply
show examples
food
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.
Moreover
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, the
students
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 should prioritize the core
subjects
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 which they will be taking during exams.
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Science
Correct article usage
The science
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 of
food
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 and how to prepare it is not as important as the rest of the subject since it is not a compulsory subject in the
exams
Change the noun form
exam
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 syllabus. In conclusion,
although
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 studying
about
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apply
show examples
food
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 can benefit the
students
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 in their daily lives, I do think it is more important for them to focus on the important subject during
school
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time
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 as learning about
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science
Add an article
the science
show examples
 of
food
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 can be done outside of the
school
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 period.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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detail
To improve your essay, consider adding more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This would strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
language
Work on expanding your vocabulary and using more varied sentence structures. This will help in making your essay more engaging and less repetitive.
structure
You have provided a clear and well-structured response to the task, including an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
logic
Your ideas are logically organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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