IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in their home country. Others think that they should be free to work in another country. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #home #country
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In today's globalized world, the movement of
professionals
 across the border has become a debatable topic .Many individuals believe that experts like doctors or engineers should
work
 in their own nation.
While
 others opine that they should be free to
work
 wherever they want to. Both views shall be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs before I give my own opinion. To commence with, the first and foremost reason
professionals
 decide to
work
 in another
country
 is that their own
country
 is not economically capable enough to pay them huge wages or even a considerable amount of salary.
For example
, nations like Pakistan and Afghanistan are not financially stable enough to provide worthy facilities and money to
professionals
 so natives who can afford working abroad immigrate.
However
, it is crucial for citizens to help their own
country
 first as it is their duty to serve their
country
 first.
On the other hand
,
professionals
 who are monetarily capable of living in other well-developed nations and want to inhabit greater facilities should be free to migrate.
As other
Correct word choice
Other
show examples
 workers will get the opportunity to show their
work
 in place of them and can be helpful to their countries.
Moreover
, the government
also
 has to worry about less population and can focus on other concerns more effectively.
To conclude
, both perspectives have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own merits and demerits, but the people themselves should be held responsible for deciding where to pursue their careers in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 years.
Submitted by vishank.chauhan19504 on

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task response
In the introduction, clearly state both viewpoints and your own opinion in a concise manner.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each main point is sufficiently developed and directly relates to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive words or phrases and aim for a varied vocabulary.
task response
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views.
task response
There are relevant examples provided to support the main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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