Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?
Majority
of people nowadays seek Correct article usage
The majority
for
jobs regardless of their age Change preposition
apply
due to
high
cost of living and high demands in life.Correct article usage
the high
This
leads to competition in the workplace. In this
essay, I will bring out what I think are the causes and the solutions related to the problem.
In the current society, everyone lives in
a competitive Change preposition
apply
live.No
one wants to be left behind in terms of lifestyle
be it young or old. Correct your spelling
life
This
is because everything is on the rise and Rephrase
no none
none
is willing to work at the expense of spending his or her money gathering for the needs of another.In short, it is an individual responsibility to make sure that he or she enjoys his life to the fullest.
The younger generation Correct your spelling
one
on the other hand
doesn't want to bother about the
how their parents meet their needs .Unlike Correct article usage
apply
long
time ago when it was their responsibility to do so as a way of apprehending them .They lack Correct article usage
a long
the
innate sense of humour.They see it as a way of struggling too much and punishing themselves.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
an
this
creates a lot of challenges to
the Change preposition
for
elder
. In Replace the word
elderly
that
they don't relax and have time to enjoy. Add a comma
that,
This
also
can cause a lot of frustration and corruption in the society .To sum up
I think every age group should have the
jobs that Correct article usage
apply
suits
them so as to reduce competition Change the verb form
suit
amongst
the two groups and Change preposition
between
Change preposition
for every
every one
to have equal opportunities to work.Replace the word
everyone
Submitted by joycechumbaa86 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, organize your essay with clear paragraphs that each have a single focus. Use transition words to help the reader follow the flow of your argument.
task achievement
Strengthen your task achievement by thoroughly addressing each part of the task prompt. Provide more specific examples and detailed arguments to support your points.
task achievement
Avoid repetitiveness and ensure your essay answers the prompt directly. Make sure each point you make directly addresses the question of problems and solutions.
task achievement
The essay makes a good attempt to address both problems and solutions related to the competition between older and younger workers.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the issues related to employment competition.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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