IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.

#plans #show #harbour
The given two maps illustrate
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 changes that have taken place in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
porth
Correct your spelling
port
harbour
 between 2000 and today.
Overall
, what stands out from both maps is that the
harbour
 has become far more developed and modern, with more accommodations. In detail, if we look at the west of the
harbour
,
one
 change has been that the showers and toilets were added.
Then
,
one
 of the key changes is that the places of the Marina with private yachts and fishing boats have changed. In 2000, there was only
one
 dock for passenger ferries, but
then
 a new
one
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 erected in the north of the city during
this
 period.  Regarding the south of the
porth
Change the capitalization
Porth
show examples
harbour
, new cafes and shops have been constructed next to the lifeboat.
Furthermore
,
one
 of the main developments is that the hotel has been built
instead
 of a castle, the reason for
this
 is that the castle was disused for many years.
Firstly
, in 2000, the public beach was for all tourists,
however
,
then
 it was changed to private and it was only used for visitors
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the hotel.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
Your response thoroughly discusses the main changes in the harbour from 2000 to today. However, to achieve a higher score, try to include more specific details and examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a good overall structure but can benefit from clearer paragraphing. Ensure each paragraph has its own distinct main idea to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Your overview paragraph effectively summarizes the main changes in the harbour.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps provide a complete response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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