In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
era of rising prices for
treatment
, a significant number of individuals
content
Add a missing verb
are content
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
paying more in
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
sector
to get
quick
Add an article
a quick
show examples
review
Fix the agreement mistake
reviews
show examples
and receive
treatment
rather than
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
sector
. It is
curcial
Correct your spelling
crucial
to consider
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
people
will able to afford but
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
people
will not be
afford
Correct pronoun usage
afford it
show examples
. In my perspective,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
ordently
Correct your spelling
ardently
appose
Correct your spelling
oppose
show examples
this
assertion and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will elucidate my position in ensuring paragraphs
culminating
Wrong verb form
culminate
show examples
in a
well founded
Add a hyphen
well-founded
show examples
conclusion. To substantiate my alignment with an opposition to the
fore mentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
show examples
notion, firmly hold the brief that
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
families struggle to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
treatment
from
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
if they
changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
the fee or free services for them. To exemplify, 60-70%
families
Change preposition
of families
show examples
went to
tge
Correct your spelling
the
public
sectir
Correct your spelling
sector
for
treatments
Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
show examples
if any changes happened and they
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
treatment
via charges in
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of them will not be able to receive any assistance.
Furthermore
,
economically
Replace the word
economics
show examples
is good for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
For instance
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
has to face loss and most of
staff
Add an article
the staff
show examples
jobless
Add a missing verb
are jobless
show examples
.
It is clear that
maximum
Correct word choice
most
show examples
people
rely on
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
sector
. Expanding upon some of the other corroborating
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
for my disagreement with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
, it is irrefutable that rich
oeople
Correct your spelling
people
only can afford that but
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
cannot think of it. All
tge
Correct your spelling
the
medical services
weill
Correct your spelling
will
be expensive. So
knly
Correct your spelling
an
autocratic government will make changes
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
will be just thinking about
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
aspect not serving the
people
.
As a result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more diseases and
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
will spread around because of expensive medicines and services. In
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
show examples
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
health
sector
converted to privatization. I am of the conviction of that the
aforementional
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
arguments strongly blaster my perspective. The
multifacted
Correct your spelling
multifaceted
nature of
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
system requires careful consideration, after weighing the evidence, it becomes apparent that
privitization
Correct your spelling
privatization
is the most logical stance to adopt in the
content
Correct your spelling
context
show examples
of our
ever changing
Add a hyphen
ever-changing
show examples
world.
Submitted by harpreetkaur47354 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Work on organizing your essay better. Ensure that your introduction clearly states the main argument and that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task response
Make sure each of your points is clearly explained and supported with relevant examples. Avoid overly complex language that can confuse your ideas.
conclusion
Develop a stronger conclusion that not only summarizes the essay but also provides a final thought or recommendation.
cohesion
Consider using transition words to link your ideas more smoothly. This can improve the flow and make your essay easier to read.
task response
You have attempted to provide specific examples to support your arguments. This is important for illustrating your points.
clarity
You have clearly expressed your disagreement with the statement which shows your ability to form an opinion on a complex issue.
task understanding
Your essay touches on several relevant aspects of the issue, showcasing your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Healthcare system
  • Public-funded
  • Private healthcare
  • Two-tier system
  • Equity
  • Efficiency
  • Universal access
  • Resource allocation
  • Quality of care
  • Queue skipping
  • Economic impact
  • Ethical considerations
  • Accessibility
  • Public investment
  • Health outcomes
  • Social inequality
  • Health insurance
  • Privilege
  • Funding
  • Resource distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: