The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the working week should be shorter and employers should have longer holidays.
This
essay totally disagrees with that statement. I believe that longer weekends have bad sides,
such
as decreasing incomes and increasing the slothfulness of all
workers
. First of all, if working weeks are shorter,
then
workers
will not work enough
time
.
Furthermore
, they will not get enough salaries.
For example
, my friend's dad. He is an accountant.
Firstly
, he worked enough
time
, about 6 hours on weekdays every day. But,
then
his manager said that the government cut their workdays to 3 days.
Initially
, he was happy;
however
, he did not know that he would have
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
. So, in the end, he had many problems
such
as health problems both mental and physical, not having a normal house, not paying for
Correct your spelling
du
udu
Correct your spelling
the
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
of his children
due to
not having enough money In my opinion, the second reason for my disagreement with that statement is laziness. All
workers
will be happy if their workdays are cut down. Because, they will employ less than usual, but
then
they will suffer from laziness. They do not want to do anything, even little housework
such
as cleaning and vacuuming.
For instance
, my elder brother's boss decreased his
time
of job
due to
his very good creativity. His boss thought that he should not think most of the
time
, so the boss gave him
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
weekdays. But, in the end, my brother ended up losing his job because he was so lazy that he did not even go to his job
even
Rephrase
apply
show examples
on his weekdays. In conclusion, for a high percentage of the population, cutting down on working weeks and increasing weekends are less important than working with usual
time
because of
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
salaries and laziness of
workers
.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion by considering potential benefits of shorter working weeks in addition to the drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph development, ensuring that each paragraph contains a single main idea that is clearly expressed and developed.
task achievement
Clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical organization of ideas with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples provided to support the main points, adding credibility to the arguments.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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