Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industries in the world. Unfortunately international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Tourism
indeed plays a crucial role in the Use synonyms
world
. These days, Use synonyms
tourism
is a major remuneration sector Use synonyms
to
around the Change preposition
apply
world
, but it makes tension Use synonyms
instead
of understanding the cultural differences. I strongly disagree with Linking Words
this
statement because it connects Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
to
around the Change preposition
apply
world
and spreads Use synonyms
culture
too. Use synonyms
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To commence with, Linking Words
tourism
helps to connect Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
whether
any Change preposition
to
parts
of the Fix the agreement mistake
part
world
and what Use synonyms
culture
they follow. Use synonyms
This
is, many travellers prefer to visit other nations Linking Words
for attending
cultural functions in order to they can learn about their Change preposition
to attend
traditional
by Replace the word
traditions
fitst-hand
. Correct your spelling
firsthand
For example
, Diwali is Linking Words
the
Hindu festival and it belongs to Indian Correct article usage
a
culture
, but numerous foreigners like to travel Use synonyms
India
and celebrate other country's Change preposition
to India
Use synonyms
culture
and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
tradition
. Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
In other words
, local Linking Words
people
always give more hospitality to welcome travellers because they are Use synonyms
the
cultural followers Correct article usage
apply
not
spoilers.
Add the comma(s)
, not
Furthermore
, Linking Words
tourism
can only spread one Use synonyms
nations'
Change noun form
nation's
culture
to other nations. Use synonyms
That is
to say, tourists can easily understand and adopt other nation's Linking Words
Use synonyms
culture
where they travel. Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
For instance
, many Europeans visit Sri Lanka frequently and they go to Linking Words
temple
Add an article
the temple
while
Linking Words
they wear
traditional dress to go inside Wrong verb form
wearing
of
the temple, Change preposition
apply
but
no one Correct word choice
apply
force
Add a missing verb
is force
to say
Verb problem
apply
that
to do that but travellers like to do Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
. Linking Words
Hence
, Linking Words
tourism
Use synonyms
do
not create any tension rather Change the verb form
does
than
it helps.
In conclusion, Correct word choice
apply
tourism
is a vital aspect and it connects Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
to
around the Change preposition
apply
world
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
spread
Change the verb form
spreading
the
Correct article usage
apply
culture
and tradition. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I strongly disagree Linking Words
this
Linking Words
tourism
Use synonyms
do
not Correct subject-verb agreement
does
makes
any tension between Change the verb form
make
people
from various Use synonyms
Use synonyms
culture
.Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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coherence and cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will help the reader understand the structure of your response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas progress logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Avoid repeating examples and ensure examples are directly relevant to the main point being discussed.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid awkward or confusing sentences. For example, 'whether any parts of the world and what culture they follow' could be clearer.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the celebration of Diwali and traditional practices in Sri Lanka, to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
You maintained a clear stance throughout the essay which helps in presenting a convincing argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.