Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industries in the world. Unfortunately international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Tourism
indeed plays a crucial role in the world
. These days, tourism
is a major remuneration sector to
around the Change preposition
apply
world
, but it makes tension instead
of understanding the cultural differences. I strongly disagree with this
statement because it connects people
to
around the Change preposition
apply
world
and spreads culture
too. This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To commence with, tourism
helps to connect people
whether
any Change preposition
to
parts
of the Fix the agreement mistake
part
world
and what culture
they follow. This
is, many travellers prefer to visit other nations for attending
cultural functions in order to they can learn about their Change preposition
to attend
traditional
by Replace the word
traditions
fitst-hand
. Correct your spelling
firsthand
For example
, Diwali is the
Hindu festival and it belongs to Indian Correct article usage
a
culture
, but numerous foreigners like to travel India
and celebrate other country's Change preposition
to India
culture
and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
tradition
. Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
In other words
, local people
always give more hospitality to welcome travellers because they are the
cultural followers Correct article usage
apply
not
spoilers.
Add the comma(s)
, not
Furthermore
, tourism
can only spread one nations'
Change noun form
nation's
culture
to other nations. That is
to say, tourists can easily understand and adopt other nation's culture
where they travel. Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
For instance
, many Europeans visit Sri Lanka frequently and they go to temple
Add an article
the temple
while
they wear
traditional dress to go inside Wrong verb form
wearing
of
the temple, Change preposition
apply
but
no one Correct word choice
apply
force
Add a missing verb
is force
to say
Verb problem
apply
that
to do that but travellers like to do Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
. Hence
, tourism
do
not create any tension rather Change the verb form
does
than
it helps.
In conclusion, Correct word choice
apply
tourism
is a vital aspect and it connects people
to
around the Change preposition
apply
world
along with
spread
Change the verb form
spreading
the
Correct article usage
apply
culture
and tradition. Therefore
, I strongly disagree this
tourism
do
not Correct subject-verb agreement
does
makes
any tension between Change the verb form
make
people
from various culture
.Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
Submitted by reanudeepan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence and cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will help the reader understand the structure of your response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas progress logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Avoid repeating examples and ensure examples are directly relevant to the main point being discussed.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid awkward or confusing sentences. For example, 'whether any parts of the world and what culture they follow' could be clearer.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the celebration of Diwali and traditional practices in Sri Lanka, to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
You maintained a clear stance throughout the essay which helps in presenting a convincing argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.