Some people think that technology is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others argue that the opposite is true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that technology is playing a key role in separating the rich from the poor, others believe that it is actually bringing them together.
While
technology comes with a cost and only affluent individuals can take advantage of it, I believe tech has unlocked many avenues through which people, rich and poor alike, are able to understand each other better.
On the one hand, as modern gadgets and infrastructures keep improving, the cost
associated with it Fix the agreement mistake
costs
also
witness a surge. More
the price of Correct article usage
The more
internet
, Correct article usage
the internet
cellphones
, computers etc Correct your spelling
cell phones
rise
, Change the verb form
rises
more
the disconnect with people who cannot afford it increases. Parallely, individuals who have the ability to make these purchases stay hinged to these gadgets increasingly. Both Correct article usage
the more
the
segments now lie on the opposite end of the social spectrum. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, in India
the habit of making payments via UPI has become so prevalent since its launch in 2016, that citizens are not even carrying small denominations, which earlier used to fill a beggar's pocket.
Add a comma
India,
On the other hand
, with the advancement in state-of-the-art mechanisms various different ways of interaction has
been popping up. Social media platforms now circulate more information about the deprived community than ever. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
This
is possible due to
the fact that their algorithm is ensuring more
better-off users Change the word
apply
to
engage with Fix the infinitive
apply
such
content. Through this
process, many in crisis are also
getting relief through collective effort
from all around the world. Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
For example
, the recent escalated conflict between Israel and Palestine have
gained significant exposure on Twitter to Change the verb form
has
such
an extent that there is a woldwide
protest against it. I'm sure Correct your spelling
worldwide
majority
of those literally affected by the conflict are not on the platform. Correct article usage
the majority
This
is the
why I believe that despite its Correct article usage
apply
economical
implications technology indeed makes a society cohesive.
In conclusion, modern devices and supercomputers etc are reducing the difference between the rich and the poor, and the idea that the divide between them is increasing Replace the word
economic
due to
it is flawed.Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a good structure, starting with an introduction that presents both views and your opinion. However, ensure the conclusion clearly reiterates your opinion along with a brief summary of the main points.
supported main points
Make sure each main point is thoroughly developed with clear explanations and examples. Consider elaborating more on the negative implications of technology for the poor.
clear comprehensive ideas
Review your essay for minor grammatical issues and sentence structure improvements. Phrases such as 'more the price ... rise, more the disconnect' could be better articulated as 'the higher the prices rise, the greater the disconnect.'
introduction conclusion present
You effectively presented both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
Your inclusion of specific examples, such as the UPI payments in India and the Israel-Palestine conflict, adds credibility and relevance to your main arguments.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay makes it easy to follow, with clear transitions between points and paragraphs.