Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest tax-payer's money in healthcare, other believe that money should be used in other areas. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion

The public
bear
Correct subject-verb agreement
bears
show examples
different notions about spending
levy
Fix the agreement mistake
levies
show examples
in various ways. A group of people believe medication is
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
priority since it contains
miscellaneous
Add an article
a miscellaneous
show examples
range of
group-aged
Correct your spelling
groups
show examples
from toddlers to senior citizens,
hence
,
this
section
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
a huge capital.
on the other hand
, some citizens bear notion that the education and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transportation
are top
priority
Fix the agreement mistake
priorities
show examples
.I subscribe to the thought that both sides reserve right
although
officials should notice more on
health
care services.
The medication
Correct article usage
Medication
show examples
play
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plays
show examples
a significant role in
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
are premature
till
Correct word choice
and
show examples
old. people have distinct types of
health
requirements since
body
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the body
show examples
has a quite number of complicated organs needing professional experts in order to
diagnosis
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diagnose
show examples
and cure illnesses. By improving modern medicine net cost of healing
surge
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surges
show examples
imposing
Wrong verb form
imposes
show examples
high expenditure which most
of
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apply
show examples
individuals cannot afford to provide
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
governments are able to allocate tangible
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
from tases in order to mitigate
health
expenses by providing liquidity for insurance firms or directly donating
subsidy
Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
show examples
to families.
on the contrary
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
have to take notice of
another section
Fix the agreement mistake
other sections
show examples
like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transportation
and education. Schools are suitable places for teaching and nurturing kids ,
besides
children characteristics will form in them because of these some people notice on education.
Additionally
, the
exist
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existence
show examples
of reliable and sustainable means of
transportation
like buses and metro are crucial for a state. If there were modern and adequate public
transports
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transport
show examples
, the usage of private cars might decrease leading to not only
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
particulates
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in particulates
show examples
and pollutants released by privet vehicles but
also
Correct article usage
an alleviate
show examples
alleviate
Wrong verb form
alleviated
show examples
rate of respiratory diseases.

As outlined above, the governments should
dedicated
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dedicate
show examples
the budget result from taxes rationally and
divided
Wrong verb form
divide
show examples
it
in
Change the preposition
into
show examples
different sections like
health
care, medication,
transportation
and so forth with different
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
.
Submitted by pooya.sheytoon2 on

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language
To achieve a higher score, work on refining your language and grammar to reduce errors and increase clarity.
evidence
Make sure to provide specific and clear examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence
While your structure is logical, aim to improve the transitions between points and paragraphs for a smoother flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both points of view and provides a balanced discussion, which is essential for a high task achievement score.
introduction
The introduction clearly sets out the topic and the writer’s stance, which helps frame the essay effectively.
content
The writer shows an understanding of the importance of various public sectors and tries to balance different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tax-payer’s money
  • Healthcare
  • Long-term costs
  • Productive workforce
  • Sick days
  • Equal access
  • Essential services
  • Sectors
  • Education
  • Infrastructure
  • Defense
  • Development
  • Security
  • Knowledgeable population
  • Innovation
  • Economic growth
  • Quality of life
  • Funding allocation
  • Comprehensive development
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